Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Rtual of Blogging That I Don't Practice

I'm getting worse and worse about blogging. I though I would get better when I got done with school, but obviously I haven't!
I just flew to Boise yesterday and it is nice to be here. I'm really thankful to be able to spend Christmas with family. It always makes me sad to hear about people who are totally alone on holidays. They may not mind much, but I mind for them! I love traditions and rituals. My recent theory related to why I like those things so much (besides it somehow being part of my genetic code!) is that with all the transition I've had - especially during the past few years - traditions and rituals are things that stay the same. They offer consistency and a small bit of stability in the middle of chaos. I think that's part of the reason I enjoy drinking Dr. Pepper on Fridays. It's a small thing that I can do during the week that's routine and enjoyable at the same time. Side note - if you are spending holidays or birthdays or other special days totally alone, figure out something that you enjoy doing or eating or _______ that can become a tradition for you. Examples - eating hamburgers a certain night every week and really enjoying it, going by Quick Trip (my favorite gas station!) to get coffee on Thursday morning before work and really relishing it, designating a certain time every week that you spend with other people and really enjoying it - this fall I've met with a married couple I've become friends with for dinner, every other Tuesday. Traditions are nice too, because they give you something to anticipate, whereas not much in your life may be worth anticipating.
Tis the season!!!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Hmmmm

I'm no scientist (at all), so correct me if I'm wrong, but is the title and concept of this article somewhat or maybe a lot paradoxical?
The title for this on Yahoo that caught my eye was: 'Mini Big Bang' Created
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20101108/od_yblog_upshot/scientists-recreate-mini-big-bang-in-lab

Thursday, September 30, 2010

"And I've been working all week and... It's time for a GOOD Time..."

Ahhh, fall is in the air! This is for sure my favorite time of year. The leaves haven't started changing yet, but I hope the trees will be pretty here.
News on the job front: I'm employed!! I was approved by the state licensing board to start practicing so I had my first client last week. Very exciting. Because my amount of hours there is not big right now and may be slow in building, I've been hunting for another part time job. God provides and I got a job at a preschool/daycare here. The interviews were interesting. The owner (did a second interview with her) has started orphanages all over the world using the Pikler approach. I hadn't heard of it before, but I'm interested to learn more about it. So the hours there will be good. I'll be there from 10-2, M-F. Then the rest of the afternoon and evenings I can be at the counseling center. I think I'll start there on Monday.
The other thing that is not officially in the works, is that I am hoping to teach a class to home school seniors about interpersonal relationships and communication a couple of times a week. This has been one of these things that I really believe God laid on me. Soooo, I'm praying about it and will have to wait and see if people sign up. I'm interesting in combining mission work and mft, and I think this class would be potential info that I could use in other countries.
So that's my life at the moment. In two weekends, it's fair time, and Tricia's birthday!!! She wants to do a 5k the morning of her b-day, so I've agreed to do that. As usual, I'm not in that good of shape, but it will be fun.
Happy Friday and Happy Weekend!!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Real Reality Really Realized

In this post "we" will refer to myself and a few others I've met throughout my life. "I" will refer to multiple parts/views/personalities/thoughts/feelings/actions/words (that are not claimed to be original) of myself.

Why is it that we don't like to verbalize reality? Of course some would say that it's not reality until you speak it, but I'm not going there, because I think that's only partially true. Plus, I'm the one creating reality on this blog, so I'm calling truth as I see it.

For whatever reason, situations, interactions, feelings, thoughts, actions, and so on take on new power when spoken. There are two, maybe three sides of this. I guess there could be even more sides of this. Speech can take us in a positive direction, a negative direction, or maybe in a rare case it might not change a thing (although I don't know if this third option is really possible). Something about speaking makes things more real. Really, you say, can reality become more real? I don't know, but I said it, so now it's real.

Often until something is spoken it's nebulous, floating, vague, maybe seemingly very real, but speaking it creates or morphs into it a new it.

Sometimes speaking reality makes us realize that the reality we're speaking is absurd and that we really don't know what we're talking about. This usually happens when we speak that reality in the presence of others who see reality differently or more broadly than we do.

Then there are times where we speak reality and we experience freedom. Whatever that thought or feeling or secret or interactional pattern was, has now been not only seen, but called what it is and the power of saying it makes the thought, feeling, secret, interactional pattern, etc., somehow less powerful.

Then there are times when we speak a feeling or thought or situation, etc. that morphs reality into something that feels almost overwhelming and permanent and shall I say, real? Suddenly we realize that by speaking reality, reality is changed and we can't continue on as we have been. And even though we don't necessarily like how things have been, the overwhelmingness of verbally recognizing reality is too much for ourselves or for others, so maybe we should have stayed quiet, and we should have quietly subdued or put to rest the thought, feeling, situation, etc. So I wonder, how's that been working for us? Well, at least the unspoken reality of what we dislike is familiar. Familiar reality is the more natural way than unknown reality. At least in familiar reality, we still have control, right?

Sometimes spoken reality is empowering. Sometimes we don't know who we are unless it is spoken by ourselves or by others to us about us. Certain parts of ourselves have been floating, hanging around, but not realized. Of course the opposite can be true, but I believe that's covered in the preceding paragraph.

Does reality really change when spoken? (Ahh, back to the third option. I love when I come full circle on accident.) It actually depends. If we're hearing, are we listening? And if we're listening are we acting?

Does it even matter if reality changes when it is spoken? It matters. Our choices of words matter.

Could I have written the previous sentence in place of all those other paragraphs? Probably. But just keepking it real - it was time to clear up the murkiness of understanding reality.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Screwtape Letters

I started The Screwtape Letters awhile back and have picked it up again. If you've never read it, it's a series of letters from a demon uncle, "Screwtape", to his demon nephew, "Wormwood", about how to best tempt their patients, specifically Wormwood's "patients", who are Christians. "The Enemy" refers to God. And "Our Father" refers to Satan.

Here is Chapter 8. It's kind of long, but obviously I think it's good, or I wouldn't have copied it here. It's taken from Lewis, C.S. (1942). The Screwtape letters. C.S. Lewis Pte. Ltd.

"My Dear Wormwood,
So you 'have great hopes that the patient's religious phase is dying away', have you? I alwyas though the Training College had gone to pieces since they put old Slubgob at the head of it, and now I am sure. Has no one ever told you about the law of Undulation?
Humans are amphibians -- half spirit and half animal. The Enemy's determination to produce such a revolting hybrid was one of the things that determined Our Father to withdraw his support from Him.) As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual chage, for to be in time means to change. Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation -- the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks. If you had watched your patient carefully you would have seen this undulation in every departmnent of his life -- his interest in his work, his affection for his friends, his physical appetites, all go up and down. As long as he lives on earth periods of emotional and boldily richness and liveliness will alternate with periods of numbness and poverty. The dryness and dullness through which your patient is now going are not, as you fondly suppose, your workmanship; they are merely a natural phenomenon which will do us no good unless you make a good use of it.
To decide what the best use of it is, you must ask what use the Enemy wants to make of it, and then do the opposite. Now it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favourites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else. The reason is this. To us a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of seflhood at its expense. But the obedience which the Enemy demands of men is quite a different thing. One must face the fact that all the talk about His love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an apalling truth. He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself -- creatures whose life, on its miniature scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them but because their wills freely conform to His. We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons. We want to suck in, He wants to give out. We are empty and would be filled; He is full and flows over. Our war aim is a world in which Our Father Below has drawn all other beings into himself; the Enemy wants a world full of beings united to Him but still distinct.
And that is where the troughs come in. You must have often wondered why the Enemy does not make more use of His power to be sensibly present to human souls in any degree He chooses and at any moment. But you now see that the Irresistible and the Indisputable are the two weapons which the very nature of His scheme forbids Him to use. Merely to override a human will (as His felt presence in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. For His ignoble idea is to eat the cake and have it; the creatures are to be one with Him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, or assimilate them, will not serve. He is preparped to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy concquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs -- to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by conintual tempting, because we design them only for the table, and the more their will is interfered with the better. He cannot 'tempt' to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
But of course the troughs afford opportunities to our side also. Next week I will give you some hints on how to exploit them, Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape."

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Townhouse

Somehow I deleted my post when I posted these pictures, and I'm too lazy to retype. Anyway, I took these with my friend Tennille's camera when she was here last week. Her sister Lisa and Lisa's baby were over and the baby was sleeping, so that's why some of the ones in the previous post are dark. Here are a few more pictures. And I didn't get any pictures of upstairs, so this is only the lower half. My favorite part of this place is the back patio.


The couch I got from Lisa and Ted, with Tennille sitting on it.


My back yard. This picture doesn't show how large the patio is. The two sides are walled/partitioned, so there's privacy from the neighbors and their little dogs.

Lisa and baby Teia. There's a mirror over the fireplace which gives this part of the living room a more spacious, and I think, kind of strange look.


Tennille and I with Dr. Peppers from Quick Trip. Quick Trip is a midwest tradition I introduced her to. And she loved it.



The long stairway. There is a closet at the top and my room is immediately to the right of that.




From the entrance. The half-bath is to the left and the kitchen, which you can't see is immediately to the right.

View from the dining room of the front door. Not sure why I took this.

We don't have a din. rm table yet, but these are the barstools that were given to me. :D I love them.

View into the kitchen. The window is between the washer and dryer. I wish there were some doors that we could close when washing and drying because it's pretty loud. But I am SOOO thankful to have a washer and dryer - also from Lisa and Ted.


View from the kitchen into the dining room and over into the living room.



La cocina. After the patio, it's my second favorite "room" in the house.









Monday, August 16, 2010

Friday I submitted my application to the state for licensure, so that's another step forward in the process here to start working - counseling anyway.
Last night I realized I had found a great church. They had their annual BBQ contest. There was smoked and barbequed sausage, pork, beef, turkey, chicken, venison, and a couple of mystery meats. Delish. I only wish I could have tried them all and gotten more of the ones I liked.
My new roommate is moving in today. It may be weird after having lived by myself for the past almost 2 years. I think it will be good, though.
Anybody seen Inception? It's been getting rave reviews from everyone I've talked to who's seen it.
It's 88 degrees right now. A cool front moved in last night, I guess, and I am SO glad.
Good Monday!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Above and Beneath the Tithe

I just moved into the new place this weekend. I think I described it before, but it's a townhouse, 2 bdrm, 2 1/2 bth, and so far I like it a lot! They put in new carpet and painted before we moved in. David was very helpful with the move. He did a lot of loading and unloading as did his roommate Spencer. Kevin and Lindsey helped out their friends (now my friends too) Jeff and Jennie came and were over the top helpful. I've really been amazed at how generous people (including the aforementioned) have been here. I got a bed thanks to the church secretary and furniture ministry at church. It's a full and very comfortable. Then when Jennie saw I had a bar and no dining room table, she said she had some barstools she'd give me that had been sitting in her attic. On Saturday, I met my friend Tennille's sister (Lisa Dahlman) for coffee and found out they were trying to sell and give away some furniture they have in storage, sooo I bought their washer and dryer and was given a nice, comfortable, brown suede couch. God always provides more abundantly that I expect or imagine.
This has all made me think about: "All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need." Acts 2:44, 45 I've been that one in need recently, and it's cool how people have given things or how I could get furniture for a cheap amount, and by paying, in return, help out the ones who are selling. I don't read these verses and get worried that God's calling us to political socialism :) , but rather I think it's about people with sincere spirits that seek to give and bless other people. When you are on the receiving end of giving like that, it has a domino effect. I'm finding all the time that it's not about how much you perceive that you have to give. It's about what you have, right now, and blessing other people with what you have, right now. I think giving and allowing what you have to be used, right now, is the best use of what God gives us (Matthew 25). For me, the real key is thinking outside the box and noticing the needs people have that I have the ability and means (from God in the first place), right now, to meet - even when it feels like I don't have that much and I'd like to have more.
Since I'm so charged up right now about this topic, let's have a little discussion board generosity regarding creative or not-so-creative ways you have given to others, ways others have given to you, or ways you observed other people give and meet needs. And be generous with your comments! :D

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Traveling Grace

Seeing everyone at Red Mountain was a blast! I liked what Aaron said one night about family being some of our closest friends. I enjoy (I think there's a much stronger word than that, but I can't think of it now) being around every single person who was there and really missed the ones who weren't.
Our trip back turned into a wild one. A couple of hours into the trip (I was driving), we realized that we were travelling south instead of east. We were involved in each other's presentations of expertise that we didn't do at Red Mountain - Matt talked about how much it costs for pharmaceutical companies to get drugs on the market, Brittany talked about the fourth wall in acting and emoting (?) on camera, broadway, etc., David talked about centralized and decentralized organizations, and I talked about how the MFT field and family therapy is different than traditional psychology therapy. It was all so fascinating and CO did such a poor job of marking their highways, that we ended up going 180 miles out of our way. Yes. 180. I just figured it out on googlemaps.
In Lamar the hwy signs were not clear. Apparently I was supposed to make a left turn somewhere to continue on Hwy 50, but missed it. It looked like the only reason to turn left was to take the Hwy 50 truck route. As we weren't in a truck, we of course did not take that, and that was mistake number 1. No big deal, we thought. At that point it would be quicker to continue on the Hwy south to Springfield and take Hwy 16o north to get back to Hwy 50. Right as we were coming to the area where we would turn off, we hit major construction. The two lane hwy was turned to one lane for I think at least 20 miles, maybe more? I'm not the best estimate with stuff like that. Anyway, after waiting for a very long time for the traffic to come through from the opposite direction, we finally got to go. Right after we started we saw a sign for Hwy 16o South or West pointing to the right, so we figured the turn to go North/East was just down the road a little ways. There was a road to the left at that sign, but it looked like a little neighborhood road. As we drove past that intersection, Matt looked behind us and sure enough that was our turn north, BUT we were in one lane traffic and there was no way to turn around for what seemed like a long time. By the time we were out of construction there were no hwys to turn north on, so we went on to Boise City, OK, then Guymon, and eventually we cut back up into Kansas and made it to Rock where M and B's car was parked. I think we got to Rock around 11. I don't know how long it took M and B to get back to Noble, but the way Hwy 77 curved around (we sure didn't miss any more turns at this point), we didn't get back to Tulsa until around 2. I dropped David off and headed home to my little spot on the couch. So, our trip ended up being about 15 hours. Despite the extra 3-4 hours added on, the trip was a blast.
Besides our presentations of expertise, :) we ate twizlers, we rocked out to Jesus Freak (that was my favorite), some Kirk Franklin, and a little Reliant K. We ate at Dairy Queen for lunch and Subway for supper. Sadly we were in such small towns most of the day that we weren't able to use the McDonald's coupons Nan gave us. When we came to Wellington, KS, and saw the golden arches we were overjoyed. Then we went in and they told us that they didn't serve frappes or smoothies. You've got to be kidding me. I was very disappointed. So, I guess we'll all be using our coupons individually. Thanks anyway Nan, for thinking of us!
Gentry's new roomate moved in right before I left, so they're letting me stay on the couch until tomorrow when I can move into my new place!!! Gentry works and travels a lot so I haven't seen much of her, but she has been such a great roomate. I've really enjoyed getting to know her.
I'll move in tomorrow afternoon, Lord willing. I need to buy a washer and dryer, a couch or futon, a bed, and maybe a dining room table. So basically I need a lot of furniture. I might have found two bar stools for really cheap. I need to see for sure how high the bar is before I buy those though.
Happy almost weekend!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Runner's High

Recently as I've been trying to up my amount of exercising in anticipation - maybe preparation is a better word - for this mud run on Sat. I've had a lot of thoughts about God and exercise and action and sacrifice. Some of it has been jumbled and some of it has not been, so here's an attempt to put it a few thoughts together. The college group and young prof. group at church have been going through James recently and it's been very challenging. I've been thinking about this stuff off and on all summer.
I am not a runner at heart. I don't enjoy it. Last night as I ran the longest maybe that I've ever run at one time, I kept wondering, "At what point does the runner's high come?" At one point I thought I was experiencing the high, but then I realized it was just that I was running downhill after going up a super steep one. Maybe, I thought, if I could experience that high, I would be more motivated to run further more often. Then as I was slamming my lead-weight feet on the road and gasping for breath, it came to me that even though I don't have a good feeling towards running, that doesn't change the reality that running is good for my heart - both physical and emotional. In fact, the more I thought about, it in between thoughts of "What am I doing?!? I hate this! Why did I agree to do that mud run?", I thought about how exercise has the potential to be an incredible expression of submission to God. It is more than a symbol, though. The act of running for me and pushing myself past what my nature desires is submission to and dependence on God's power. Then I thought about how running is submission, but how that act is also representative of the kind of action that God calls me to in other areas of my life. Sometimes, probably most times, submission and obediance to God and what he plans for me will be the most painful, illogical, emotionally difficult courses I will ever have to say yes to. The guy leading the study on James made the point that God is more than willing to give us wisdom when we ask, but that we need to be sure that we are not double-minded and unwilling to go through and receive the wisdom that God may be ready to give us. He also said, "God does not mold our character without our consent." I'm still thinking about that one, but I really think it is line with what James teaches. Our participation in the molding of our character by God is where asking and action and perseverance come into play.
All of this is to say that submission and sacrifice by definition are going to be easy to practice, but God is faithful. And it probably isn't what would be classified as "runner's high", but I was feeling pretty good and rewarded when I finished running for 39 long minutes.
James 4:7-10
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hello mountains!

TGIF!!! Due to "training" for this mud run in CO, I'm not having Dr. Pepper today to celebrate the weekend, but next Saturday it will be time to do it up big.
I met my new MFT supervisor today and he signed the needed paperwork, so Lord willing I will be able to submit all of the licensure stuff by early next week.
On the housing front, I think my new roommate and I have found a townhouse. I really like it and it's only a 6 month lease, although hopefully it will work out great and I won't have to make another move that soon. Speaking of the new roommate, I'm going to eat dinner with her and her family at her parents' house tonight. I think steak is on the menu. Yummmm.
One week from today David and I should be getting close to Red Mountain. We're planning to leave early Fri. morning. When is everyone else getting there? Can't wait to see all of you!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Living the life

I counted this morning and I've been in Tulsa 5 weeks. Time flies when you're having fun and when you're out of town (WV and TX) for a couple of weeks out of that. But really, I like it pretty well here. I'm in the middle of finding a place to live. I'm going to have a roomate who's a college student here in town. A couple of girls at church suggested that we live together and it will be very nice financially.
I'm working as the receptionist at the Christian Counseling Center right now till August sometime I think when the regular receptionist comes back from maternity leave. Hopefully right around that time I'll be able to start doing therapy, but it will depend on the status of my licensure application. Status right now - Not submitted yet. There has been one little delay after another, so looks like by the end of next week I'll get everyone to sign who needs to. I'm looking at picking up another job for awhile and creating a some cushion for myself. Dave Ramsey recommends it. :)
Random thought of the day - concerning difficulties, pain, suffering, etc., I've been thinking along the themes of these two verses recently:
2 Corinthians 1:9: Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
James 1:2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Limits

Everytime I read what he's written it's so challenging! Pulled out of context a little, but to see the full context, go to his blog. I've taken some of what he's written because if you're like me, you often don't click on the links people put on their blogs. If you do, go read the rest of this on his blog - Restlessness: Not Acknowleding Our Limits Can Keep Us From Focusing On Anything Permanent

Here's what Rhett Smith says:

When Our Desires Come Into Conflict With Our LimitationsThis is where the rubber meets the road. Each one of us has lots of things we want to do with our lives. There are lots of things we want to accomplish each day…but those desires, and our passions can often hit limits. Last year I wrote a post, Limits and Potential: Living Free Within That Tension, which was a reflection on this issue as formulated by Parker Palmer in the book, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. Palmer puts it this way:

“Everything in the universe has a nature, which means limits as well as potentials, a truth well known by people who work daily with the things of the world. Making pottery, for example, involves more than telling the clay what to become. The clay presses back on the potter’s hands, telling her what it can and cannot do–and if she fails to listen, the outcome will be both frail and ungainly. Engineering involves more than telling materials what they must do. If the engineer does not honor the nature of the steel or the wood or the stone, his failure will go beyond aesthetics: the bridge or the building will collapse and put human life in peril.
The human self also has a nature, limits as well as potentials. If you seek vocation without understanding the material you are working with, what you build with your life will be ungainly and may well put lives in peril, your own and some of those around you. “Faking it” in the service of high values is no virtue and has nothing to do with vocation. It is an ignorant, sometimes arrogant, attempt to override one’s nature, and it will always fail.”

God has created us with many desires and passions for our lives, but the reality is, is that on this side of heaven, many of them will not come to fruition. That feeling can leave us in a constant state of restlessness, unable to truly commit to anything permanent, therefore, leaving us constantly in a state of not acknowledging our limits, and with an inability to focus on anything for a long period of time.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

To go or not to go?

I don't follow people too much on blogs, except for family, but this guy has outstanding stuff to say. I might be a little biased since he's an MFT, but I like it because he combines Christianity and marriage and family therapy excellently. This recent post on when to seek marriage counseling is good. Although trained in the field, since I'm not married myself, I like to refer to the "experts". A little extra credibility, I think. With some of them anyway. So check this blog out and it's okay to feel anxious at the thought of going to counseling. To me, like he says it's an opportunity for growth, and therefore even though it may be difficult, it's often a very enjoyable process ultimately. Why, why, why, especially as Christians would we not seek opportunities for growth? And you aren't alone. God is with you in the process.

http://rhettsmith.com/

Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm back!!

I met with a my hopeful new supervisor this morning, so am thinking and praying about that before I decide to go with him for sure and submit everything to the state licensing board. Supervision is really expensive. Between the 3 and 4 hundreds per month if you're full time. Sooooo much. But, that's all part of the process. After passing the oral and written exams and a full two years of supervision, then I will be receive my actual license. I'm glad I didn't know how involved all of this stuff was before I started. Ignorance is bliss and helps me get through things. If I look to far into the future it's overwhelming and I give up before I ever get started, so I definitely don't care to know the future.

Time for a question. I know, some of you (maybe Nat and Ethan?) have been waiting in eager expectation for one of these, and just so you aren't disappointed, here you go - a closer look into the chaotic, rambling thoughts of me.
What is the line between having expectations for people you love, and becoming "needy" or controlling or too dependent on what they do?
Some of us have ridculously low or high expectations for the people we love and some of us act like we don't have any expectations period, so how does one go about coming up with a happy medium? This question, or I guess two questions, are broad on purpose. Basically give me your thoughts on expectations and relationships.

Monday, June 7, 2010

TULSA

Maybe, just maybe I'll be able to turn over a new blogging leaf, now that school is over. Praise the Lord about that! This is a much overdue update, and be warned - fairly long. :)
The whirlwind called my life has finally quit spinning so much and the dust is starting to settle. T and I have both been making a lot of wind/weather kind of metephorical statements. Weird. So now that the dust is settling, I've been catching up on sleep and taking a much needed break from I guess everything! I wish I could back up and cover I guess the past month, and really the past couple of years! But anyway, the last month has included, finishing school, finals, graduation, Mom, Dad, Tricia, David, Holly, Aaron, Maddy, and Rachel coming for gradutaiton!, going to Breax Bridge, Lafayette, and Avery Island, LA with Mom and Dad, going to friend, Melissa's wedding in Gulfport, MS with friend Kari, coming back and packing up, and hanging out with friends until June 1. Crazy. I'm so so thankful for the good friends I made in Monroe, both in the MFT program and at White's Ferry Rd.
I moved to Tulsa last Tuesday. David had brought a huge load with him when he came down grad. weekend and then my friends Linda and Ryan took some furniture with them on their way to Iowa, so with my car loaded down and my friend Tennille's car slightly loaded we headed north. Tennille's sister and brother-in-law live here, so we've been able to hang out a couple of times since she's been here this week. I'm living with one of my brother's friends, Gentry, until Aug. 1. She needed a roomate for a couple of months till her friend moves in. Her place is great! It's the upstairs of a two story house that's been turned into a 2 bdrm, 2 bthrm apt. Everything is new and nice. And best of all, she has a washer and dryer!! I've been loving that. It's also walking distance to a cool little area called Brookside. I'm a 5-10 min. walk from a coffee shop called Shades of Brown, which is where I am now. :) Also I'm within walking distance of a really nice walk/run/biking trail right next to the river (the Red River maybe? can't remember) Back to living situation - I've started looking for another place already and although cost of living is cheaper here than Monroe, I may have to settle for not getting what I want (washer & dryer, more than one bdrm, and not being in an apt. complex) due to cost. Good ole finances. Anyway, I guess I can do anything for a year.
It's already been great being in the same town as Dave. We've eaten together several times and he happened to be preaching on Sun. so that was nice to get to hear him. He did an excellent job talking about envy. His college group and other people I've met at church have been welcoming and friendly.
The reason I moved here in the first place is that my friends Kevin and Lindsey Nieman work at the Christian Counseling Center here. They moved here about a year ago to start it. Lindsey was in the MFT program a year ahead of me and they worked at the White's Ferry Road counseling center before coming here. Now they're at the point where they're ready to bring someone else on, so here I am. It just so happens that the church under which they started the counseling center is the same one David was hired by - Park Plaza church of Christ. Kind of interesting. I won't be able to start practicing for a little while yet -- maybe July or August. I have to submit this huge licensure application to the state licensing board before I'm allowed to practice. Before I can submit, I have to have an approved supervisor (who will eventually be Kevin). Hopefully I will be meeting with a guy this week to talk about him supervising me. I knew it was going to be expensive, but when I heard the actual amount, it was like getting punched in the face. Kind of. It will be in the upper $300s per month. Bleah. This only lasts for 2 years, but still - that's a lot. In the meantime, I'll start doing receptionist work at the couns. center because the present receptionist is about to go on maternity leave. It will be good to have an income again. Looking at and thinking and praying about picking up another part-time or temp job until I can start practicing. Part of my reason for not, though is that I'm planning to travel some. June. 15th, I'll go to Dallas, 16th - fly to W.Virginia and go to the new cabin!, 23rd -come back to Dallas and hang out with Tricia and Mom, and go to Ethan and Jenna's wedding! 27th - back to Tulsa and hopefully immediately began the receptionist work. Then end of July and beginning of Aug. is Red Mountain. Can I get a what what?!
Besides all that, enjoying not being in school, exercising, and exploring Tulsa is on the docket for the summer. A couple of good friends from Monroe have moved to northern Arkansas, so may try to meet them to camp. And of course you guys should come visit me here! Maybe it would be better after I have my own place. Kind of feel like a guest where I am now, but seriously I hope you guys will all visit. Tulsa is a cool place and besides Daegu, the biggest city I've ever lived in.
I think that's about all the update I've got at the moment.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Tornadoes of Change

I accepted the job in Tulsa! Sooo, sometimes after graduation I'll be making the move. Graduation is May 22. And as for moving dates and specific plans - it's all up the air at the moment, but at least a decision is made!
So as far as details go, anyone want to come help me move? :) During these past couple of years I've officially aquired more than I can put in my car. If you come visit and help me move, I'll pay gas, your meals, and some (prob a small amount) of cold hard cash. The u-haul is a little out of my price range. :( And maybe we can go canoeing on black bayou before moving.
Now to write a paper on multicultural group therapy considerations and study for my career counseling final. Bleah. I am beyond excited to never write another paper. Blogging I can do. Papers, I'm ready to say goodbye to.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Minding the Gap

In one month school will be over and a week after that I'll be graduating. After that, ??????. The entire world is open. I have a job opportunity in Tulsa and am strongly considering that. Not really ready to move again, but not really ready to stay either. Ahhh, decisions, decisions.
I heard a great lesson by Ravi Zacharias recently, called Mind the Gap (it's on RZIM.org ). While this was not the main point of the lesson (kind of was, though - I really recommend listening to it), he talked about times in his life that he did not know what was going on, but "he was with me". He said something to that effect anyway. The idea was that even though his life was chaos and confusion, God was with him. So as a little encouragement for today, whether you feel it or not, whether your life is peaceful at the moment or seemingly spinning out of control, whether you are able to handle what is going on or not, whether you are healthy or sick, whether you have energy or are worn out, whether you are happy or disappointed, excited about the future or filled with dread - HE IS WITH YOU.

Monday, February 22, 2010

3 Plus Months Later...

I'm still alive!!!!! You can't tell it by my poor skills keeping up with everyone, but believe it or not I'm back. Holly has a good description on her blog of what we did when they came recently. I really really love having people come over for trips or dinner or just dropping by. Maddy was delightful. She is the sweetest natured little girl. And besides the fact that she loved my valentine, I have to say that she has some incredible fine motor skills. She would spot the tiniest crumb or thread, go for it, and get it! I know adults who don't have that kind of coordination (specifically thinking of my fine relatives - me brother especially - who have shaky hands). Anyway, it was a blast having them here. We ate crawfish. I still can't believe I ate more than one, but I did and even enjoyed it! That was the real Louisiana experience.
This past week I was off at the beginning of the week for the Mardi Gras break and then on Wed. evening went to Baton Rouge for the state MFT conference. It was excellent. I didn't go to one session I didn't enjoy, which is unusual for any kind of conference like that. My favorite was a session I went to on Saturday morning. Eddie Parish - one of my teachers from ACU -and a teacher from Loyola University presented. http://www.parishhermitage.org/intro.shtml Here is the website for what Eddie Parish does in Louisiana. I would whole-heartedly recommend this to any of you if you ever think something like this would be benefical to you. Ironically it is a rare thing to meet a therapist who really connects well with people outside of therapy. I have several theories why, but those are for a different time. After the conference was over two friends and I drove to New Orleans for the afternoon and met up with two other friends there at Cafe du Monde to eat beignets. So delicious and fun! New Orleans was like no other city I've been in. Drove down Bourbon Street and it was shocking, even mid-day. I would not want to be down there after dark. Speaking of dark, even though it was beautiful day, much of the atmosphere there is dark, evil - and I don't use that word loosely. Maybe "confused" is a more accurate word. Chaotic? I don't know. There were a lot of drunk people, a lot of homelessness, and there were a lot of people walking around with an empty look in their eyes.Of course Mardi Gras had just ended a few days before, so that could be part of it. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of beauty there as well. Jackson Square, the French Market, and the French Quarter were all so interesting. I would really like to go back and spend more time there. There was a ton to see. The city definitely had a foreign feel -- guess that's the French influence?
Who's been enjoying the Olympics? I've gotten to wach some. Definitely gotten pulled into the ice dancing. Speaking of Olympics I watched an entertaining movie the other day, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, something something.
Now that I've massively stalled on an assignment I should be doing, guess it's back to the drawing board. Probably won't post again until after comps (end of March), unless I need an excuse not to work again. :)
May each and every one of you have a content and satisfying week! And don't forget -- tis the Lenten season! A little self-sacrifice and discipline goes a long way.