Recently I keep thinking of what Heather would say to me in Korea: "You can sleep when you're dead." I've actually been getting pretty decent sleep, but the daytime hours have been exhausting. I'm ready to be done with my job. Coming back from a week in West Virginia (which was great!) to four days of work is weird. My clients started meeting with their new PSR workers while I was gone, then the plan was for me to come back and make the transition final. Maybe it will end up being best for the clients, but I think it's made the transition too drawn out for them. So I'm trying to wrap everything up at work right now which means final visits with clients and calls to people involved with their care. Very, very hectic, but at the same time we've had some really good sessions. I love my clients. I thought I was fine with leaving, but it is tough. Most of the people I work with are amazingly good at verbalizing how they're feeling and letting me see their sadness which is there right now because I'm leaving. Seriously, some of the saddest faces ever, and I'm just as sad as they are to see our time of working together come to an end. They have been delightful. They have taught me so much about sincerity and honesty and overcoming challenges in life.
It's funny how I've been working a lot with my clients on dealing with change, as they will be having to adjust to a new worker, but I haven't been dealing with change the best in my life. Normally, I'm ready for the next thing -- whatever it is. Usually, I'm way excited about what's coming up, but right now I don't care for change too much. I feel like things need to slow down. The song from Jack Johnson, who I really really like a lot, :) keeps coming to mind "Slow down everyone, you're moving too fast..." Yes, I know that change is good for me. I tell my clients all the time that change keeps us from becoming stagnant. I know that God is using all of the change in my life to refine my character and make me into who he wants me to be, but the emotions need to catch up. The hardest part about change for me is when people leave or when you have to leave them (this also includes when people you love change so much that you don't know them anymore). It's hard to really love people and then they're gone. The mutual investment that has been made is gone. Or at least it feels like it is. Memories and influence can live on, which is good. Sometimes it seems easier to me to become more detached and distant so that you don't have to deal with the the discomfort or pain of transition, and that works. But then Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote keeps coming to mind: "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." That's true. It's worth it.
So my last day at work is June 30th. Then I'm moving to Louisiana at the beginning of August. I think it's going to be great. Do I feel it? No, but I believe God is going ahead of me and with me, so I can say with full assurance that the future will be good.
My friend, Jun, in Daegu, as I was leaving last year said that in Korean they have a quote that says something to the effect of "We're under the same sky". The way she said it is more beautiful that I can say it, but I love it, hence the name of my blog. Knowing that we're still under the same sky, somehow still connected in spirit, makes change and leaving just a little easier.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
What's happening
G and G left on Thursday. They were here for awhile, which was a blast. I really enjoyed visiting with them. Before they came I was remembering how us kids would get so excited to see them that we would wait on the side of the road for them to show up. I still get excited to see them now. We played a lot of games and did a lot of laughing. Just so you know, Grandpa does not like Scattergories. It is too "wild".
This coming Wednesday we're going to West Virginia to see gradparents family there. It's been over two years since I've seen them, so I'm looking very forward to seeing them. I'm so thankful to be able to travel and to stay in touch with family.
Other than travel plans coming up, I've been working a lot. My last day will be July 1st, which is coming up quick. Almost too quick. I'll be sad to leave all my clients. They have been incredible. But, it's time to move onto what's next -- for them and for me. I've been thinking a lot about change being an opportunity for crisis, or an opportunity for growth and refinement (ist that a word?). The growth and refinement perspective is what I'm trying to take or else I can get kind of stressed about whatever's coming up next.
Mid-August is when school starts at ULM. No new news in that area, just that I'll be moving down at the beginning of August.
As for Boise, right now, yesterday I got to go rafting. This last spring and now summer more and more college aged/out of college people have started coming to church so we've been doing a lot of things together. Yesterday one of the guys planned a rafting trip which was awesome. This guy had a been several times, so he was our "guide". I'm not the biggest fan of the water, but it was so fun. There were a some rapids areas that were pretty intense, but the rapids weren't constant, so they said it was probably a 2 class rafting trip. Not sure what that means, but no one fell overboard and we didn't flip. The scenery along the Payette river was gorgeous and the weather was just about perfect. The water was numbing and pretty deep because of all the snow this year, but that has made for good conditions apparently. There were 7 of us in the raft. I got kind of wet along the way, but not soaked so I was feeling pretty good about myself. As we got out of the raft, though, I got tackled into the ice water/sand, so I ended up not making it out as dry as I had planned. ha Anyway, if you ever get a chance to go rafting, definitely go.
I haven't been blogging as much as planned, but with my work winding down, maybe I'll do more? Hope to. :)
This coming Wednesday we're going to West Virginia to see gradparents family there. It's been over two years since I've seen them, so I'm looking very forward to seeing them. I'm so thankful to be able to travel and to stay in touch with family.
Other than travel plans coming up, I've been working a lot. My last day will be July 1st, which is coming up quick. Almost too quick. I'll be sad to leave all my clients. They have been incredible. But, it's time to move onto what's next -- for them and for me. I've been thinking a lot about change being an opportunity for crisis, or an opportunity for growth and refinement (ist that a word?). The growth and refinement perspective is what I'm trying to take or else I can get kind of stressed about whatever's coming up next.
Mid-August is when school starts at ULM. No new news in that area, just that I'll be moving down at the beginning of August.
As for Boise, right now, yesterday I got to go rafting. This last spring and now summer more and more college aged/out of college people have started coming to church so we've been doing a lot of things together. Yesterday one of the guys planned a rafting trip which was awesome. This guy had a been several times, so he was our "guide". I'm not the biggest fan of the water, but it was so fun. There were a some rapids areas that were pretty intense, but the rapids weren't constant, so they said it was probably a 2 class rafting trip. Not sure what that means, but no one fell overboard and we didn't flip. The scenery along the Payette river was gorgeous and the weather was just about perfect. The water was numbing and pretty deep because of all the snow this year, but that has made for good conditions apparently. There were 7 of us in the raft. I got kind of wet along the way, but not soaked so I was feeling pretty good about myself. As we got out of the raft, though, I got tackled into the ice water/sand, so I ended up not making it out as dry as I had planned. ha Anyway, if you ever get a chance to go rafting, definitely go.
I haven't been blogging as much as planned, but with my work winding down, maybe I'll do more? Hope to. :)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Elder/pastor/shepherd/Jesus
We've been studying about elders/shepherds/pastors at church recently and have had some great lessons. These passages and songs have been really great for me to read and hear. So, this is kind of long, but I love how they fit together. The pictures is from 34th Nottingham Scouts Gallery.
Luke 15:1-7
1Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. 2But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."
3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
John 9:30-38
30The man answered, "Now that is remarkable! You don't know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. 31We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will. 32Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. 33If this man were not from God, he could do nothing."
34To this they replied, "You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!" And they threw him out.
35 Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"
36"Who is he, sir?" the man asked. "Tell me so that I may believe in him."
37Jesus said, "You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you."
38Then the man said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshiped him.
34To this they replied, "You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!" And they threw him out.
35 Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"
36"Who is he, sir?" the man asked. "Tell me so that I may believe in him."
37Jesus said, "You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you."
38Then the man said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshiped him.
John 10:1-18
1"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." 6Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.
7Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.[a] He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
11"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
14"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."
7Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.[a] He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
11"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
14"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."
To Bring You Back by Paul Alan
Are you thirsty, standing in the rain?
Not sure where you are or how you lost your way
Are you drowning
Some bar outside of town?
Searching for something given not found
A crowd of people totally alone
At the front door
Worlds away from home
And light up the night's last regret
Burn your only safety net
Step to the edge it's such a long way down
And I left the ninety-nine to find the one and you're the one
I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back
Are you tired of chasing the wind?
Under water, do you aspire to breathe again?
Are you dying?
Is that the best that you can do?
Cause you can't find your place in a world that wasn't meant for you.
A left the ninety-nine to find the one
And you're the one
I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back
Hello, it's me i couldn't sleep
I was just counting sheep.
I'm missing you.
Hello, it's me i couldn't sleep
I was just counting sheep.
I left the ninety-nine to find the one
And you're the one
I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back.
I left the ninety-nine to find the one
And you're the one I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun
Only to bring you back
Only to bring you back
Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah yeah yeah yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah yeah yeah yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone
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