I shall not be, I shall not be moved...

2 weeks and my semester is over!!! It has gone fast. I can really say that although the schoolwork is not my favorite, it is good to be here. This is not so profound, but I started to like it a lot better here when I started looking for ways I could meet other peoples needs instead of feeling sorry for myself and lack of blah blah blah. Of course I'm so far far from doing that perfectly or even well, but it's amazing what a change of mindset can do. I like that God allows us to choose. I could turn this into an argument about free will and predetermination (called by some, predestination), but I don't know where I stand exactly on the matter, so right now in this post I'm taking the position of believing that God gives us free will. Hopefully I will make a little sense, but my mind is all over the place so I won't guarantee it. Also, the fact that this is so amazing to me does not mean it will be to you, so in advance, sorry. Now that I've got my disclaimers out of the way...

Often in life there are things that happen that are not in our control. Very often. Then there are things in life that we may think are out of our control, but really aren't. There are things that we think we have control over, but really don't. And then there are those things that we do actually have control over. I have control of my hands at this moment and am choosing to type the words: yep, I have control. Choice looks different for every single person. A person down the street from me may not have physcial control over her hands. Her daily choices are going to be a lot different than mine will be. This blog is not about things in life that are out of our control.

The main part of choice I like is the ability to make a choice about what I will think about or dwell on and what I value. Some people do not have the ability make these kind of choices, but that's an entirely different discussion. If you have the mental capability to do so, though, this idea is amazing -- to me it is anyway. God, in his perfect love, beyond what I can understand or attempt to describe (although I am attempting to briefly describe it right now), gives us choice or free will, to in many ways be part of shaping our own present and future as well as the future of others. [Side note: Have you watched The Truman Show? If you haven't I really recommend it. I think it's a good example of how control doesn't equal love. An engineered, supposedly perfect life, does not beget contentment. I saw part of it last night which has brought on some of these thoughts.] As humans, we need the ability to change - to have the potential for growth. I've had many times in my life when my heart and mind have consistently(key word) been set on despair, on my circumstances/situations, on my past, on my feelings, on my loneliness, on my __________, fill in the blank. By the way, I'm not saying it's bad to feel despairing, sad, or lonely, but rather I'm talking about being stuck there. God, in his generosity, gives us a way out from being stuck in that place of discontentment. He doesn't force me to stay in that place. On the flipside, he doesn't force me to be in a constant state of happiness. [Another side note: If I was in a constant state of happiness, would it really be happiness, since I never got to experience the opposite?] God gives free will. So this is a passage that's come to mind recently (not in my control), and I've chosen to share it (within my control). :)

"Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Col. 3:1-4 and then on down in verse 12-14: "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

When I have chosen to think all about myself and value myself above all else, I get frustrated with myself, easily annoyed with other people, I talk bad about others (or even if it's not outright meanness, I put them in a bad light), I eat things that I like to make myself feel better, I watch shows that will make me feel better, I listen to music that will make me feel better or at least music that matches my mood, I go out and buy clothes or furniture to make myself feel better, I complain and tell my situation or story to everyone I know, I sleep a lot, and not surprisingly, I become increasingly discontent.

On the other hand, when I choose to think about God's grace to me, the fact that I've been "raised with Christ", that my "life is hidden with Christ in God", that I "will appear with him in glory", and when I value other people and choose to be patient, compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and forgiving, contentment becomes a reality. Don't get me wrong. This is not about pretending your problems away and not dealing with pain and hurt and grief and sadness. This is about an general attitude that controls your life - what you think about and what you value.

To close, on a totally random note, my house is down to 60 degrees and it's 35 outside and dropping. I'm going to turn the heat on. Didn't make it as long as I hoped, but my hands are pretty much numb right now. Forget the $20 electric bill! Louisiana has gotten colder than I thought. Yay for cold weather!!!!!