I shall not be, I shall not be moved...

2 weeks and my semester is over!!! It has gone fast. I can really say that although the schoolwork is not my favorite, it is good to be here. This is not so profound, but I started to like it a lot better here when I started looking for ways I could meet other peoples needs instead of feeling sorry for myself and lack of blah blah blah. Of course I'm so far far from doing that perfectly or even well, but it's amazing what a change of mindset can do. I like that God allows us to choose. I could turn this into an argument about free will and predetermination (called by some, predestination), but I don't know where I stand exactly on the matter, so right now in this post I'm taking the position of believing that God gives us free will. Hopefully I will make a little sense, but my mind is all over the place so I won't guarantee it. Also, the fact that this is so amazing to me does not mean it will be to you, so in advance, sorry. Now that I've got my disclaimers out of the way...

Often in life there are things that happen that are not in our control. Very often. Then there are things in life that we may think are out of our control, but really aren't. There are things that we think we have control over, but really don't. And then there are those things that we do actually have control over. I have control of my hands at this moment and am choosing to type the words: yep, I have control. Choice looks different for every single person. A person down the street from me may not have physcial control over her hands. Her daily choices are going to be a lot different than mine will be. This blog is not about things in life that are out of our control.

The main part of choice I like is the ability to make a choice about what I will think about or dwell on and what I value. Some people do not have the ability make these kind of choices, but that's an entirely different discussion. If you have the mental capability to do so, though, this idea is amazing -- to me it is anyway. God, in his perfect love, beyond what I can understand or attempt to describe (although I am attempting to briefly describe it right now), gives us choice or free will, to in many ways be part of shaping our own present and future as well as the future of others. [Side note: Have you watched The Truman Show? If you haven't I really recommend it. I think it's a good example of how control doesn't equal love. An engineered, supposedly perfect life, does not beget contentment. I saw part of it last night which has brought on some of these thoughts.] As humans, we need the ability to change - to have the potential for growth. I've had many times in my life when my heart and mind have consistently(key word) been set on despair, on my circumstances/situations, on my past, on my feelings, on my loneliness, on my __________, fill in the blank. By the way, I'm not saying it's bad to feel despairing, sad, or lonely, but rather I'm talking about being stuck there. God, in his generosity, gives us a way out from being stuck in that place of discontentment. He doesn't force me to stay in that place. On the flipside, he doesn't force me to be in a constant state of happiness. [Another side note: If I was in a constant state of happiness, would it really be happiness, since I never got to experience the opposite?] God gives free will. So this is a passage that's come to mind recently (not in my control), and I've chosen to share it (within my control). :)

"Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Col. 3:1-4 and then on down in verse 12-14: "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

When I have chosen to think all about myself and value myself above all else, I get frustrated with myself, easily annoyed with other people, I talk bad about others (or even if it's not outright meanness, I put them in a bad light), I eat things that I like to make myself feel better, I watch shows that will make me feel better, I listen to music that will make me feel better or at least music that matches my mood, I go out and buy clothes or furniture to make myself feel better, I complain and tell my situation or story to everyone I know, I sleep a lot, and not surprisingly, I become increasingly discontent.

On the other hand, when I choose to think about God's grace to me, the fact that I've been "raised with Christ", that my "life is hidden with Christ in God", that I "will appear with him in glory", and when I value other people and choose to be patient, compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and forgiving, contentment becomes a reality. Don't get me wrong. This is not about pretending your problems away and not dealing with pain and hurt and grief and sadness. This is about an general attitude that controls your life - what you think about and what you value.

To close, on a totally random note, my house is down to 60 degrees and it's 35 outside and dropping. I'm going to turn the heat on. Didn't make it as long as I hoped, but my hands are pretty much numb right now. Forget the $20 electric bill! Louisiana has gotten colder than I thought. Yay for cold weather!!!!!

National Pride

Yesterday I waited in line for 1 hour to vote. The lady at the exit poll probably thought I was crazy, since I'm thinking that the American pride emanating from me was visible. I was smiling ridiculously, but what can I say? I love the US! Does anybody else get excited about voting like I do? You would have thought it was my first time to vote. But seriously, I love the whole process. I eat it up every election year and have ever since I was a kid. Hilarious not-so-PC moment of the night was when Sam Donaldson (sp?) said, "Well, it's not over till the fat lady sings. Uh, er, uh, or I mean um, any person of any svelte (sp?)."
Not so sure what the future will hold politically: change, levelling of the playing field, spreading of the wealth, less taxes, more taxes, more money for college, world peace, socialism, no more talk radio, and persecution are just a few of the things I've heard mentioned. To hear people talk around campus today, there's a lot of pride, fear, cynicism, disappointment, anger, happiness, hope -- the range of feelings everyone has had about this election is all over the place.

This story is not analogous, but I've been thinking a lot about the story of back in the day when Saul became king and here are the random thoughts that have come to mind. The people were dying for a king. God said okay. The people were happy. God chose the man. The nation became powerful. The man made A LOT of mistakes. God's working was far beyond what the people could see. I'm not trying to make a political point with this. Mainly I'm thinking that it's nice to have history to look back on and see that God is faithful and was always there, both in the good times and the bad times. In history we can see that God wasn't just passively there, but he was often active, whether the people of that time realized it or not.

I'm not adjusted to the time change yet and I haven't gotten much sleep this week because of my paper, which I turned in today!!! So, as they say here in the South, "I need to get in the bed."

Monday

The trees aren't changing colors so much, except for the cypress trees which grow in the water. What I was told is that they are conifers, but the needles(?) change color according to season. They don't fall, but just change color. These trees make the bayous extra beautiful. Fall is by far my favorite season. I'm glad the weather actually feels right for the season now. It is pretty cool here today -- I don't think we got over 60 and it's been in the 40s at night and it was windy.
BUT, I am resolved to not turn on my heater until my house is below 65. Ideally 60 or 62. ha Layers, hot tea, and a very low electricity bill give me a lot of willpower.
Now I need that willpower to transfer over toe the paper I'm writing on dissociative identity disorder. Right now I'm wondering why I ever chose that topic. I do not like research!!!!!
On the flipside, one more day of class this week and we get off for the national conference. Instead of the conference, I'm going to Nacogdoches on Friday!!!

Here's a picture I stole from Trish on facebook, from our fun day at the fair a couple weeks ago.

Courage does not equal self-reliance or self-hope or ability or gifts or talents or brilliance...

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:16-18

"Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, 'Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?'
They replied, 'Certainly, O king.'
He said, 'Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.'" Daniel 3:24, 25

Fall Break

It's hard to believe, but last Wednesday was the beginning of fall break for me. And what a wonderful break it was. I left Wed. afternoon. Two friends from the math lab, where my GA is, went with me, so that made the trip way faster. We left about 2:45 and after dropping them off at their family's houses, I finally met up with Tricia, Holly, and Aaron at 8:15. We went to this great BBQ place. I know they were starving, so it was great of them to wait. Then afterwards we went to Denny's and got pie and coffee. So good. I love dessert and coffee after a meal. :)
The next day I went to school with Trish. That was a blast. Her kids love her. That we look alike was confirmed by all of her students. Some mistook me for her and some of them were doing double and triple takes between the two of us when they walked into class and saw me. I told them some about Korea and they aske questions. One kid asked me how to say blood in Korean. I was obliviously about to answer, but Trish was signalling to me that I should not, as he was making a gang reference. ha, I'm totally naive about all that stuff. Also, the word for blood in Korean is "pee", so it was good I didn't go there. Since they had the next day off, she did a game day with them, so we played games with them the whole time. She is doing an amazing job teaching them. Definitely a job that will wear you out. She is invested in those kids even after being there a short time, and they know it. That day was her birthday, so I would tell the kids and they would get excited (usually about half of them) and sing her happy birthday. Right after the day ended we went to a gas station and got some dp and peanut butter m and m's to celebrate and went back to her apt.
We walked around the pool, which is in the center of her little commune ha/apt. complex and visited with her friend Adrienne for awhile. I had met her at ACU a couple of times, but didn't really know her. She and her husband are awesome. There are a lot of cool people at this place. It's a great atmosphere -- safe and quiet, especially considering that Trish lives in the hood.
For dinner, Holly made soup, that was very tasty and we watched the Office. After that, Holly (aka Andy) and I (aka Michael Scott) womped up on T and A in Spades, again!!!! We also got to see and play with the new puppies. They are adorable! Little Jessica Jr. is especially cute. Yes, I named a dog after me. They let me, and what better name?
The next day Trish and I got up and went to get a bagel and coffee at Einstein Bagels. Delicious!! As usual, food plays a big role in life enjoyment -- that's why I'm mentioning it. The coffee was vanilla hazlenut. We then went to White Rock Lake aka Exercise Maniac Land to exercise. By the time we got there, I was hyped up enough on coffee and Tricia's inspiring talk about running, I decided to run/jog. I went maybe a 1/2 mile to a mile and walked the rest. The people who exercise there are serious about it, so for a brief time, I experienced the rush of being one of them plus the beauty of the lake. It was a nice time. Then came the aftermath of having sprained my foot or something. I'm not sure what I've done to it, but it's still sore and kind of swollen. Walking the next morning at the lake and then at the fair didn't help, I'm sure.
We met Alex for lunch at Freebirds, a burrito restaurant and had a really nice visit with her. We sat there for several hours talking and catching up.
Next we went on to Holly and Aaron's to meet up with Nat, Ethan, and Holly G. They got there an hour or two after we did. Holly G's little puppy is way cute also. We played card games for awhile and then had dinner. Amazing spaghetti. Seriously, it is some of the best I've had. David got there towards the end of dinner. The rest of the evening we hung out and played games and ate great pumpkin pie and drank coffee. I haven't laughed so hard in awhile as I did while we played this name game that I love (now called Dumb Freakin' Boo) and brought back Write a Book. It was hilarious. Matt and Brittany got there just in time to hear the books that had been written. It was great to see them.
Next day Trish and I went to the lake again to exercise while D slept in. We came back and woke him up so we could walk around the corner to "Taco Joint" and get some breakfast tacos. Wow, we ate out a lot. It worked out well though, as T has just moved into her apt. and is getting settled in still. Came back and got ready to go to the fair and everyone came over so we could walk over. It was about a mile walk from her apt. to the fair, so wasn't bad except for T and Matt, who went back to get T's ID so she could get into the fair. They really did a lot of walking that day. The shows were fun. Most everybody didn't care for the light show, but I really enjoyed it that evening. The huge flames were amazing. Anything that is timed well with music and lights is entertaining to me. Even if it's not timed well, I wouldn't know! I enjoyed it. The food was also a big highlight. After hunting for forever I found the Fried Guacamole which had been recommended by a couple of people. It was actually fried avocado chunks, so it was kind of a let down. The chicken-fried bacon was surprisingly good and so were the spicy olive bites. Those were excellent. Also, the turkey leg was so good. I didn't get all of these, but just tried them. The corn dog I started the afternoon out with was the best corn dog I've had. Again, mixed reviews, by others, but I really enjoyed it. At the end of the day we finally found the building that had the crafts and canned goods. I always like to see how talented people are and think that maybe someday...probably not, but it's fascinating to me what some people can do, especially with quilting.
By the end of the day my legs were about to fall off. I haven't walked that much in forever. We went back to T's and then over to H and A's where we hung out for awhile before D and M and B went back to Oklhoma. It was nice to sit. I think we depleted H and A's coffee during the weekend. We had that and some pumpkin bread she had made. Holly knows how to bake. I've never had anything she's made that wasn't good.
Trish and I spent the night there so we wouldn't have to drive up in the morning. We all went to church at The Branch. Chris Seidman (sp?) had a good lesson on forgiveness. He covered a lot of material and then had kind of a lengthy invitation, but the principles were good. In my opinion. :) On a different note, he reminds me of Jim Carrey. A dramatic, articulate, and entertaining speaker. After church we went to the BBQ place once again. Then it was time to go. I went to pick up the friends and made it back to Monroe by 8:45. I fell into bed exhausted. It was a really, really wonderful fall break. Just what I needed to make it to the next little break, which will be in a couple of weeks. Couldn't have more fun family to hang out with. I'm planning to go visit friend Heather in Nacogdoches, TX and I think (dare I hope?) Rachel is coming also?!!! Can't wait! If you've waded through all this wordiness, have a great rest of the week!

"I believe in the sun..."

I really like this song. Supposedly the chorus was found on the wall of concentration camp. For some reason I'm being blocked from putting the video straight on here. Probably because I'm not doing it right. :) Oh well, just click on the link.

This song is a great reminder that faith/belief/trust is a decision or an attitude, not the way you feel. By the same token, belief is more than logic.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=0fe7e0f4f3b9f5f402f5

Happy Day

Tofutti has done it again. They have one of the best dairy free ice creams I've tried. I went to Brookshires (pronounced Brook-sures here rather than Brook-shires) to pick up some groceries and decided I would look again for Tofutti sour cream and cream cheese. This store has a pretty good selection of gluten free foods and organic foods, but not so good on dairy free. I still couldn't find what I was looking for, so I think I'm going to put in a request at customer service. Do people do that? I'm going to try. Anyway, as I came to end of the ice cream isle, after looking longingly at the whole row, I found a huge selection of sorbet and dairy free ice cream!! I've tried the Cuties made by Tofutti before and they are good. They had a lot of those and also pints of "frozen dessert" in different flavors. They had a couple of other brands too, but I wanted to try Tofutti and it didn't let me down. I got vanilla fudge and indulged in a delicious milkshake tonight. Yummm.

This may be interesting to like 2 people besides myself, but oh well. My camera's still broken, so that's the reason for the off-centeredness. As another side note, my kitchen coutertops look like that, but a brighter/darker color of green than you can see in the picture. The picture makes it look like a gray marble something, but it's not. It's green.

The weekend is here. Celebrate with some ice cream!