Under the Same Sky

Our State Fair is a Grand State Fair...

2011-09-29T16:37:00.003-06:00

This weekend is the Texas State Fair Cousin Reunion in Dallas!! Sadly, it sounds like not as many cousins will be re-uning(is this a word?) this year. I'm excited to eat some fried food and get in some good hanging out.
I had a wonderful birthday! Thanks to all of you who sent notes. I felt very blessed! I did a log of eating and drinking DP, thanks to Dave and a few good friends, and then after church last night I ended the evening by going to Free Pie Wednesday at Village Inn Restaurant. I got strawberry rhubarb pie with decaf coffee. Not far as good as Mom's, but it was nice birthday dessert. :) Each year when my birthday rolls around, and especially this year for some reason, I am convicted about what I'm doing with my life. Am I living boldly? Am I living beyond myself? I enjoy routine and the simple life, so it's easy for me to get stuck there. Not that either of those things are wrong, but I know that those two tendencies I have can influence me stay in my comfort zone and not bless others the way that God has intended me to. So, I've been thinking about how I can be more available to God, how he's already working through me, and new or expanded ways He can work through me. As you know, I'm a fairly easily entertained and fascinated person, so all of this train of thought has kept me entertained(that's not quite the word I'm going for, but can't think of what is). Occupied maybe.
In othe random news - hoping to upgrade from my trash phone soon to a smart phone that will hopefully prevent the carpal tunnel that I feel like I'm developing from my current phone! How am I doing this? Family plans are way more affordable, I've found out recently, so thanks to Dave, I'm upgrading. Trying to train for the White Rock Half Marathon. This is definitely the hardest things physically that I've ever done, and still have a long ways to go. There is a 15k that I'm running at the end of October, which gives me a sooner goal to shoot for. One month. Yikes. My motto? Slow and steady...finishes the race. I'm not going for winning here, just finishing at least at a slow jog. Or a fast jog would be fine too. :) But I'll settle for a slow jog.
That makes me think of the song, "I'll settle for a slowdown". At least I think those are the words. ha I've been on a country music kick recently. Country music is nice in the fall, when you can blare it with the windows down. Speaking of fall, the temps have gone back up, but at least the evenings have been a little cooler.
Hope you all are enjoying the season, and if you're usually at the fair and you're reading this, you are going to be missed greatly!

Fall!

2011-09-08T16:48:00.002-06:00

We're supposed to head up into the nineties again this weekend, but fall is in the air. The angle of the sun makes things feel different as does the cool-ish breeze.

I haven't blogged in forever, so I'm well overdue for an update. Work is going well. I'm slowly gaining clients. I'll have a high number one week and the next week I'll be back down. So I'm just trying to be patient and be a good receptionist in the process. The good part of being the receptionist is that I have learned a ton about insurance, billing, and the financial side of things. On the therapy side, I've had some interesting cases. Really, people in general are interesting. If you came into my office, I would find you fascinating even if you think you are pitiful and boring. Hopefully you don't hear me saying that you are species that I am putting under the microscope to study (although I guess a little of that goes on!), but mainly that everyone is so different. On the outside. On the inside, I think we're all about the same. Bleah, bleah, bleah, not sure what I'm really talking about. Should have just left it at - people are interesting.

For Labor Day, the young professionals group at church went on a campout. I think 20 something people went. Tric and Dave both came, as did two of my roommates. It was such a blast. Saturday was a blast of heat, but the rest of the time was just a fun blast. We came back on Sunday so Tric, her roommate, Haley, and Haley's friend Alisha, and I could run the "Escape from Turkey Mountain" trail run on Monday morning. Again, it was so fun! They did the 5 mile and I did the 2 mile. The first part was annoying because the trail was so narrow that you couldn't pass the very slow people. I wasn't the fastest by any means, but I wasn't the slowest either. By the time I was able to pass people, I guess my coffee had kicked in because I felt like I flew that last mile. Sounded like a freight train, but I was moving pretty fast for me. Super, super fun. After that we went and got breakfast burritos. Delicious. T and I met with Dave later for deep dish pizza for lunch. Also delicious.

This weekend, I'm trying to round up some folk to go hike at Turkey Mountain (hill). It's about 5 minutes from where I live and there are some decent trails, for this vicinity. Besides that, just planning to sleep in on Saturday. Between camping and running at 7 in the morning on Labor Day, I've been worn out this week!

Have a great weekend!!

Burned Up

2011-08-02T16:06:00.002-06:00

It is 111 degrees right now. By 4 am, we are supposed to be down to 91. I am loving popsicles and air conditioning (and my fleece that I have to wear inside, because the AC is so cold).

Packing it In

2011-07-12T16:54:00.003-06:00

We're sitting at a pleasant, but very humid 91 degrees right now. Looks like some storms are supposed to move through, so hopefully we'll get some rain. It sprinkled a little this afternoon. Trees and bushes look wilted.

The 4th of July was super fun this year. I love fireworks, so my plan was to get in as many shows as possible. I saw two really good ones - one on the 3rd and one on the 4th. Then a couple of days after I got to shoot some off with some friends.

This weekend was super fun. 6 friends came into town who were in Korea at the same time I was. Heather and Rachel are from Texas, Katee, Beth, and Amanda are from Canada, and Abby is from Springfield, MO. We've gotten together the past 2 summers, so it's become an annual tradition. It was so fun. We ate a lot, talked a lot, and laughed a ton. I have three roommates already, so with 10 of us, we were definitely piled in the house, but it seemed to work out pretty well. This is about to get detailed, so unless you're my mom or sister you may want to stop reading now!

Friday evening when they all got in we went and ate Korean food, which was excellent, and then we sang in the norae-bang (singing room) they have at the restaurant - Korean karoke. It was a blast. They gave the room to us for free for one hour. It had taken the Canadian girls 20 hours to drive down, so they were pretty tired, and the norae bang ac wasn't working, so we were worn out from singing and heat exhaustion!
We went to a little farmer's market on Sat. morning and got breakfast burritos, then went to the Philbrook art museum - it was free that day! It's a pretty good museum and the gardens are gorgeous. The AC was a lifesaver though, because I think we were at 100 or higher that day. After that I took them to Quick Trip - a local gas station that has 59 cent drinks during the summer. Yummy DP. Then we went home and just hung out for the afternoon. That evening, we went to the riverwalk to eat at Los Cabos. We sat outside and tried to yell at each other over the super loud (but fun) band that was there. Then we strolled and a few of the girls listened to another band that was there. After that, we went to get coffee (I should have gotten decaf). I found out that my brother and his friend, Kent were going to be at a restaurant across the street, so we went to hang out with them. The trip took an even better turn there, because Kent suggested (kind of insisted) that we should go out to his family's cabin on the lake. So generous of him and such a great idea. So the next afternoon, after church, we went out to the cabin. The girls got to seem my flowers on the way out, which are majorly struggling with the heat, but at least some of them are still alive! Once we got there, he took us out on the boat and we all got in an swam. (Swam? is that the right word?) Yes, believe it or not, I did get in the lake and swim. And it was really fun. I felt a lot more relaxed once I had a float/life jacket think to hold on to. There's something about not seeing or touching the bottom that makes me really nervous, but it was a good time to face my fears! I even went in after seeing a snake along the bank by the dock. Bleah. Can't think about that too much. After that, Kent left and we hung out on the deck the rest of the night. We ordered pizza that was super yummy and sat outside a long ways after dark. It never cooled off, but it was still fun and beautiful. The next day, Amanda and I took a stroll and saw a sign for blue green algae - swim at your own risk. Great! Still don't know what that means, but Amanda still went in later. There was a little incident of a cut foot and passing out from pain and me getting just a little panicked about someone seeing someone faint, but we all survived. I'm so glad for her that it was just a minor accident. We headed back to Tulsa that afternoon, met David for supper, and then went to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert and coffee. The Canadians don't have the Cheesecake Factory. That was the perfect ending to a great visit. Katee had to be at the airport really early this morning. Abby had to leave on Sunday, but the other girls came up to my office and we went and got a hamburger and fries for lunch at Ron's. I kind of feel like I'm about to go into friend withdrawals and I'm experiencing major sleep deprivation, but what a great time. I couldn't feel more blessed. :)

Metaphoring it up

2011-06-24T11:36:00.003-06:00

This week I've been thinking a lot about the importance of gentleness, as well as expressing your love to people by offering them free will (of course they already have it, but sometimes we try to act like they don't and that we are in charge of them). What I'm about to write will relate more to gentleness than free will. I'll save free will for another time.
Yesterday I was weeding around some flowers that I planted a couple of months ago. When I first planted them, I planted them in dirt that I had weeded, but many of the roots were still there. It had been over a month since I had worked with my little garden. Unfortunately, most of these little flowers never had a chance, because the weeds/bermuda grass came up and choked them out. Add to that - my inconsistent wedding. If they weren't choked out at the beginning, they were edged out by the weeds that were allowed to get out of control and literally take over the entire space that I'd hoped would turn into a nice patch of wildflowers. When I went to weed last night, maybe 10 or 12 little flowers/stalks were there, even though I planted probably more than 100 seeds. As I began to attack the weeds, I inadvertently pulled up some of the flowers because they were hidden and because I was not being gentle enough. Even as I became more gentle, I found out that weeds were actually what were holding the flowers up and keeping them going. That became the tough part. The ground was super dry, so even when I was as gentle as I could be, I would end up pulling out the flower along with the weed I was trying to get. Around that time, my friend recommended transplanting the flowers altogether to a section of the ground that was cleared. So that's what we did. Maybe these little cosmos, asters, and ? will make it now. Of course they're still in an area that has weeds, so it's going to take persistence and consistency on my part to keep the weeds from becoming their support system/eventually killing them. And I'll have to keep watering, but at the beginning not so much as to drown them out, because they're still fragile.
Some people might say that really there's nothing in my power that I can do that will ultimately make the flowers live or die. The flowers have free will and all that, and they chose those weeds, and all I could do was plant the seeds. I don't know that I have full power to make the flowers live and die and I don't know whether they chose the weeds or the weeds chose them, or both, or maybe they were just there from previous years. What I can see is that the weeds have the power to kill the flowers or at least fool the flower into thinking that it's standing on it's own and living a thriving, happy life when really it's just the bermuda grass that's holding it up. What I also know is that consistent and persistent love and gentleness go a long way with these little flowers that I love.

2011-06-22T15:01:00.002-06:00

What I have learned from Uncle Paul:
-He taught me how to understand the Holy Spirit and the Trinity better.
-He taught me how to love and value all people.
-He taught me that people are first.
-He taught me how to get real with people.
-He taught me the power of commiting to pray for people - usually just one or three.
-I love how he and his siblings had so much fun together.
-I love the fun he brought to every group he was part of.
His influence is immeasureable. I will miss him.

Friday!!!

2011-04-15T15:51:00.004-06:00

Life is flying by! I seriously can't believe I've been in Tulsa almost a year. Crazy. I'm working as the receptionist right now at the counseling center and seeing clients, so my schedule right now is pretty crazy as well. The good thing that's happening right now is that Kevin, my supervisor here just got his Oklahoma licensure. That opens up a lot of doors for us to see more clients. I'm going to Boise for Memorial Day weekend!! Looking really forward to that. A couple of weekends ago the singles group at church went camping in Arkansas for the weekend. It was gorgeous there! We went to Mt. Magazine, the highest point in AR and hiked around and tried to see a mama bear and her two cubs. We never could see them, but supposedly they have a den in one of the areas there. Tonight I'm going to an Amish dinner. I have no idea what Amish cooking is like, but I guess I'm about to find out. If it matches the lifestyle, I'd guess it will be simple food with some delicious extra flavoring thrown in. My theory about the delicious extra flavoring idea is from how they throw in some extra stuff into their lifestlyes, like going to Wal-Mart, and using some nice aspects of civilization. :) Guten Friday, everyone!

Speaking of...

2011-03-13T19:40:00.008-06:00

Right now we're sitting at a chilly 48 with light rain. I myself am sitting in a large, cozy chair with a blanket around me enjoying a nice, quiet evening at home. I have eaten a box and a half of raisins in the past hour. Delicious. I've never liked raisins until recently and they are decidedly a new fave. Great Value All Natural California Raisins. Yummmmm.

Speaking of deliciousness, one of my roommates has a Keurig coffee maker.

I never knew what I thought about them, but I am now a fan. You can use them for a single cup of coffee or you can just use it to heat up water for tea. The little individual cups are kind of expensive, but what a great treat! During the big blizzard it was on all day for us to have hot drinks. The different flavor options are great. My personal favorite is the Wild Mountain Blueberry. Based on my dislike of raspberry and cherry flavored coffees, I thought it would be bad, but it is berry berry amazing. :D So good.

Today I went to eat lunch with my friend Lisa and her baby for lunch. They are packing up to head to California to meet up with her husband who is stationed there in the army. Baby Teia is so cute! We ate at a hole-in-the-wall Chinese place that is super good.

Speaking of cute babies, I thought I was hearing Kevin and Lindsey's son yell my name across the pews at church "Dess! Dess!" -- he's almost 2 -- but then I thought to myself, "Nah, quit being so egocentric." But after a minute I couldn't help myself, so I turned to look and sure enough he was excitedly pointing out to his mom where I was during the final prayer. He couldn't have done something more endearing :)

David has left with his college group for Florida for spring break for the week. Because it's spring break for the Tulsa area, a couple of things I go to during the week are cancelled, so I feel like I've got a nice week coming up.

And speaking of a nice week coming up... It may be in the 40s now, but we're moving into the 70s by the middle of the week. All of the artificial pear trees are in bloom and have been for the past couple of days, and today I saw a big fat robin in the backyard. Looks like Tulsa is going to have a gorgeous spring. O, spring, how I love thee!

Doing Things the Lenten Way

2011-03-08T15:03:00.002-07:00

Here's a short little briefing of my life presently.

Lent begins tomorrow!!! You should give something up. It's good for you.

I'm giving up all things dairy and facebook.

I have given notice at the day care! The secretary at the counseling center has resigned so she can stay home with her kids, so I will fill that spot until I am more full time with having clients. I'll have more flexibility to schedule clients throughout the day, now that I'll be there. I start next week. I'm so so so thankful to be quitting there.

Dad is coming in for the Tulsa Workshop on Mar. 22nd!

It seems like I'm gradually getting more clients at the counseling center.

Today is rainy, cold, and dreary.

I noticed tiny blooms on trees today! Yay for spring!!!!

I love living in the same town as David. It's been a blast!

I'm watching Inception again this weekend.

I'm really looking forward to family and friend reunions this summer.

I love my new roommates and the house I'm living in.

I'm thinking about going to Honduras this summer, but I don't love the thought of raising money.

When you want God to reveal himself and act in supernatural ways in the natural world, he will. Just don't forget to keep watching. Don't forget to act, either. You may be the method/vessel he chooses to display something that is beyond what is natural and reasonable.

Blizzard of '11

2011-02-03T18:35:00.004-07:00

What day is today? Ah yes. Thursday. This week is a blur - of time and white. Monday night began the week's big adventure. And I can't lie, it's been pretty fun! I'm sure most of you know, maybe because of your own blizzard and below zero temps in your own town, but Tulsa got slammed on Monday night and most of the day Tuesday with a good ole fashioned prairie blizzard. Now we are enjoying sub-zero temps with a sub-sub-zero wind chill.

My roommate, Chenea, and I were supposed to be out of our townhouse by this Saturday. This last Sunday seemed like a better, more available time for people to help me move, so that's when we moved most of my stuff over. Chenea and I were going to spend the week in our mostly empty place, just because our lease wasn't up until Sat., but when we heard about the bad weather rolling in, our plans changed. Chenea's parents came with her and they got all of her stuff out on Monday night. I decided to go spend the night at my new place, and am I ever glad I did that!!! Work was cancelled and has been all week. Tomorrow will be my 4th day of not working.

Ari, the girl I'm sharing a room with, at my new house, just started her pediatric rotation this month, so she got up early Tues. morning and left before the snow got bad. Coming back was a different story. She called the other roomates (Rebecca and Sylvia) and I to tell us she was stuck out on our road and could we come push? So we layered up and went out to dig her out and push. I had measured that afternoon and we had gotten 13 inches of snow. Of course Tulsa is fairly unprepared for a storm of this magnitude, so the poor little side roads don't get plowed. We got her out and she parked down closer to a main road and then walked back to the house.

Wednesday, Rebeeca, Sylvia, and I shoveled out our driveway with a regular snow shovel, a snow/garden shovel, a push broom and a rake. We also shoveled on the road to clear the way to get out and had to shovel a path behind my car that's been parked on the road. Then we had to dig out my car. There was a massive drift at/on the front of my car that was 3 or 4 feet deep. All of this shoveling took us 3-4 hours. The lower snow was very wet and heavy, so today all of us are pretty sore!

Besides shoveling, I've been unpacking and squaring away my stuff that I'd moved over, working Beth Moore's Esther Bible study, eating, spending a lot of time on the phone with AT@T :(, spending time on facebook, and watching a couple of movies. Last night Sylvia and I ventured out to Wal-Mart. The roads were horrible! I guess that's why most places of business have been closed this week. Tomorrow I'm going to try to go to my townhouse and finish clearing everything out and turn in my keys.

I'm so thankful to be in a warm, cozy house this week with a nice chance to get to know my new roomates and get settled in. More to come on a description of my new living situation. I love being in a house!

Breaking the fast

2011-01-26T16:40:00.002-07:00

This morning I met David for breakfast and since then I've been thinking about how much I love eating breakfast out!!! Of course hanging out with Dave is always fun, and that's one of the nicest parts, is eating it with someone. Actually I really breakfast at home as well, when I'm not rushing out the door. I love a leisurely-sit-down-and-enjoy-myself kind of breakfast. Then it's also nice to be surrounded by the morning regulars downing their coffee or meeting their buddies. You know they're regulars when they talk to you like they own the place and when you feel like you live in a town of about 100 when they do talk to you. Then there are the waitresses. There's something about diner waitresses that is just delightful. It seems like they're some of the toughest, hard working gals, real people you'll ever meet. The place we went this morning is a very old restaurant that I drive by every morning. It's definitely old and doesn't have much character inside or out, but after going in today, I feel like I've discovered a jewel of Tulsa. We were going to split the cinnamon roll - that they're famous for - but it wasn't being served until 7, which is when I had to go to work. Sad, sad day. Instead we got scrambled eggs, hash browns, and biscuits and gravy. It was all good, but the biscuits and gravy was excellent! I had coffee with mine, which is another breakfast must for me. Coffee is never a question, but whether it's fruit, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, grits, breakfast burritos, coffee cake, an omlet, a breakfast sandwhich, french toast, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, oatmeal, malt-o-meal, breakfast casserole, kiche(sp?), ceareal, muffins, bagel and butter or cream cheese, or a big fat cinnamon roll, I LOVE BREAKFAST! I'm dying to go back and try out Savoy's cinnamon roll. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Doctor Pitiful

2011-01-19T17:20:00.003-07:00

I am a bad sick person. Always have been always...well, I'm trying to do a little better. I'm a bad patient. And I'm a bad doctor/nurse. The combo of patient and nurse is a problem, when you have to be both. The problem with being a fairly healthy person (maybe extremely healthy) most of my life is that I hate hate hate when I do get sick. And I always think I'm dying (does this sound like anyone we know in the family? and you can't say me, b/c I've already covered myself). I have to say always, because I've had to remind myself that the few times I've gotten the flu, food poisoning, or even allergies, I've thought that I was dying. That makes this time not as severe - to know that I've thought that before. Then there's the part of nursing myself back to health. No thanks, I'll take the magic wand. Drink more water? When I'm sick that's even less appealing. Vicks? Slimy and gross just gets slimier and grosser when I feel bad, and you have to shower more - which is tricky when you have a fever and a defective shower. Take tylenol and nyquil. After day 6, I'm starting to feel kind of jittery and dizzy, or is just fluid on the ears that's not being relieved by the tylenol? Vicks on the feet? The chest is enough. Chicken noodle soup? I've had chicken boullion, to which the reply was, "no there's something about chicken noodle soup that's better". Today as I was back at work, one of the four year olds, said, "Teacher, are you about to cry?" No, kid, that's just how I look and feel when I've been blowing my nose for a week. She then proceeded to come pat my back. Drink gatorade? Can't stand the stuff. Honey and lemon? Show me some evidenced based research - don't like that either. Run the humidifier the brother brought for me? So much work. Vitamins? 10,000 vitamin C a day and maybe that's why my stomach's hurting now too. Nasal spray? Gag me. Literally. Sleep? Yes, please. Quotes of the day at work: "JASSIE! You best get afta that cold. You'ah lookin peaked." and another lady, everytime I blew my nose: "Bless Your Heart". Thanks, you too. :)
Don't be alarmed all you good doctors. I've been treating myself. I've even been using vicks and have about finished the gatorade. Yep, there's probably a reason I'm not feeling well still. I'm meant to be healthy. Don't give me any afrin nasal spray. I'm ready for the magic wand.

The Rtual of Blogging That I Don't Practice

2010-12-16T20:36:00.003-07:00

I'm getting worse and worse about blogging. I though I would get better when I got done with school, but obviously I haven't!
I just flew to Boise yesterday and it is nice to be here. I'm really thankful to be able to spend Christmas with family. It always makes me sad to hear about people who are totally alone on holidays. They may not mind much, but I mind for them! I love traditions and rituals. My recent theory related to why I like those things so much (besides it somehow being part of my genetic code!) is that with all the transition I've had - especially during the past few years - traditions and rituals are things that stay the same. They offer consistency and a small bit of stability in the middle of chaos. I think that's part of the reason I enjoy drinking Dr. Pepper on Fridays. It's a small thing that I can do during the week that's routine and enjoyable at the same time. Side note - if you are spending holidays or birthdays or other special days totally alone, figure out something that you enjoy doing or eating or _______ that can become a tradition for you. Examples - eating hamburgers a certain night every week and really enjoying it, going by Quick Trip (my favorite gas station!) to get coffee on Thursday morning before work and really relishing it, designating a certain time every week that you spend with other people and really enjoying it - this fall I've met with a married couple I've become friends with for dinner, every other Tuesday. Traditions are nice too, because they give you something to anticipate, whereas not much in your life may be worth anticipating.
Tis the season!!!!

Hmmmm

2010-11-08T20:23:00.004-07:00

I'm no scientist (at all), so correct me if I'm wrong, but is the title and concept of this article somewhat or maybe a lot paradoxical?
The title for this on Yahoo that caught my eye was: 'Mini Big Bang' Created
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20101108/od_yblog_upshot/scientists-recreate-mini-big-bang-in-lab

"And I've been working all week and... It's time for a GOOD Time..."

2010-09-30T20:21:00.005-06:00

Ahhh, fall is in the air! This is for sure my favorite time of year. The leaves haven't started changing yet, but I hope the trees will be pretty here.
News on the job front: I'm employed!! I was approved by the state licensing board to start practicing so I had my first client last week. Very exciting. Because my amount of hours there is not big right now and may be slow in building, I've been hunting for another part time job. God provides and I got a job at a preschool/daycare here. The interviews were interesting. The owner (did a second interview with her) has started orphanages all over the world using the Pikler approach. I hadn't heard of it before, but I'm interested to learn more about it. So the hours there will be good. I'll be there from 10-2, M-F. Then the rest of the afternoon and evenings I can be at the counseling center. I think I'll start there on Monday.
The other thing that is not officially in the works, is that I am hoping to teach a class to home school seniors about interpersonal relationships and communication a couple of times a week. This has been one of these things that I really believe God laid on me. Soooo, I'm praying about it and will have to wait and see if people sign up. I'm interesting in combining mission work and mft, and I think this class would be potential info that I could use in other countries.
So that's my life at the moment. In two weekends, it's fair time, and Tricia's birthday!!! She wants to do a 5k the morning of her b-day, so I've agreed to do that. As usual, I'm not in that good of shape, but it will be fun.
Happy Friday and Happy Weekend!!!

Real Reality Really Realized

2010-09-09T18:04:00.009-06:00

In this post "we" will refer to myself and a few others I've met throughout my life. "I" will refer to multiple parts/views/personalities/thoughts/feelings/actions/words (that are not claimed to be original) of myself.

Why is it that we don't like to verbalize reality? Of course some would say that it's not reality until you speak it, but I'm not going there, because I think that's only partially true. Plus, I'm the one creating reality on this blog, so I'm calling truth as I see it.

For whatever reason, situations, interactions, feelings, thoughts, actions, and so on take on new power when spoken. There are two, maybe three sides of this. I guess there could be even more sides of this. Speech can take us in a positive direction, a negative direction, or maybe in a rare case it might not change a thing (although I don't know if this third option is really possible). Something about speaking makes things more real. Really, you say, can reality become more real? I don't know, but I said it, so now it's real.

Often until something is spoken it's nebulous, floating, vague, maybe seemingly very real, but speaking it creates or morphs into it a new it.

Sometimes speaking reality makes us realize that the reality we're speaking is absurd and that we really don't know what we're talking about. This usually happens when we speak that reality in the presence of others who see reality differently or more broadly than we do.

Then there are times where we speak reality and we experience freedom. Whatever that thought or feeling or secret or interactional pattern was, has now been not only seen, but called what it is and the power of saying it makes the thought, feeling, secret, interactional pattern, etc., somehow less powerful.

Then there are times when we speak a feeling or thought or situation, etc. that morphs reality into something that feels almost overwhelming and permanent and shall I say, real? Suddenly we realize that by speaking reality, reality is changed and we can't continue on as we have been. And even though we don't necessarily like how things have been, the overwhelmingness of verbally recognizing reality is too much for ourselves or for others, so maybe we should have stayed quiet, and we should have quietly subdued or put to rest the thought, feeling, situation, etc. So I wonder, how's that been working for us? Well, at least the unspoken reality of what we dislike is familiar. Familiar reality is the more natural way than unknown reality. At least in familiar reality, we still have control, right?

Sometimes spoken reality is empowering. Sometimes we don't know who we are unless it is spoken by ourselves or by others to us about us. Certain parts of ourselves have been floating, hanging around, but not realized. Of course the opposite can be true, but I believe that's covered in the preceding paragraph.

Does reality really change when spoken? (Ahh, back to the third option. I love when I come full circle on accident.) It actually depends. If we're hearing, are we listening? And if we're listening are we acting?

Does it even matter if reality changes when it is spoken? It matters. Our choices of words matter.

Could I have written the previous sentence in place of all those other paragraphs? Probably. But just keepking it real - it was time to clear up the murkiness of understanding reality.

The Screwtape Letters

2010-09-08T12:55:00.004-06:00

I started The Screwtape Letters awhile back and have picked it up again. If you've never read it, it's a series of letters from a demon uncle, "Screwtape", to his demon nephew, "Wormwood", about how to best tempt their patients, specifically Wormwood's "patients", who are Christians. "The Enemy" refers to God. And "Our Father" refers to Satan.

Here is Chapter 8. It's kind of long, but obviously I think it's good, or I wouldn't have copied it here. It's taken from Lewis, C.S. (1942). The Screwtape letters. C.S. Lewis Pte. Ltd.

"My Dear Wormwood,
So you 'have great hopes that the patient's religious phase is dying away', have you? I alwyas though the Training College had gone to pieces since they put old Slubgob at the head of it, and now I am sure. Has no one ever told you about the law of Undulation?
Humans are amphibians -- half spirit and half animal. The Enemy's determination to produce such a revolting hybrid was one of the things that determined Our Father to withdraw his support from Him.) As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual chage, for to be in time means to change. Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation -- the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks. If you had watched your patient carefully you would have seen this undulation in every departmnent of his life -- his interest in his work, his affection for his friends, his physical appetites, all go up and down. As long as he lives on earth periods of emotional and boldily richness and liveliness will alternate with periods of numbness and poverty. The dryness and dullness through which your patient is now going are not, as you fondly suppose, your workmanship; they are merely a natural phenomenon which will do us no good unless you make a good use of it.
To decide what the best use of it is, you must ask what use the Enemy wants to make of it, and then do the opposite. Now it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favourites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else. The reason is this. To us a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of seflhood at its expense. But the obedience which the Enemy demands of men is quite a different thing. One must face the fact that all the talk about His love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an apalling truth. He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself -- creatures whose life, on its miniature scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them but because their wills freely conform to His. We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons. We want to suck in, He wants to give out. We are empty and would be filled; He is full and flows over. Our war aim is a world in which Our Father Below has drawn all other beings into himself; the Enemy wants a world full of beings united to Him but still distinct.
And that is where the troughs come in. You must have often wondered why the Enemy does not make more use of His power to be sensibly present to human souls in any degree He chooses and at any moment. But you now see that the Irresistible and the Indisputable are the two weapons which the very nature of His scheme forbids Him to use. Merely to override a human will (as His felt presence in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. For His ignoble idea is to eat the cake and have it; the creatures are to be one with Him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, or assimilate them, will not serve. He is preparped to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy concquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs -- to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by conintual tempting, because we design them only for the table, and the more their will is interfered with the better. He cannot 'tempt' to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.
But of course the troughs afford opportunities to our side also. Next week I will give you some hints on how to exploit them, Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape."

The Townhouse

2010-09-03T11:31:00.005-06:00

Somehow I deleted my post when I posted these pictures, and I'm too lazy to retype. Anyway, I took these with my friend Tennille's camera when she was here last week. Her sister Lisa and Lisa's baby were over and the baby was sleeping, so that's why some of the ones in the previous post are dark. Here are a few more pictures. And I didn't get any pictures of upstairs, so this is only the lower half. My favorite part of this place is the back patio.

The couch I got from Lisa and Ted, with Tennille sitting on it.

My back yard. This picture doesn't show how large the patio is. The two sides are walled/partitioned, so there's privacy from the neighbors and their little dogs.

Lisa and baby Teia. There's a mirror over the fireplace which gives this part of the living room a more spacious, and I think, kind of strange look.

Tennille and I with Dr. Peppers from Quick Trip. Quick Trip is a midwest tradition I introduced her to. And she loved it.

The long stairway. There is a closet at the top and my room is immediately to the right of that.

From the entrance. The half-bath is to the left and the kitchen, which you can't see is immediately to the right.

2010-09-03T10:59:00.007-06:00

View from the dining room of the front door. Not sure why I took this.

We don't have a din. rm table yet, but these are the barstools that were given to me. :D I love them.

View into the kitchen. The window is between the washer and dryer. I wish there were some doors that we could close when washing and drying because it's pretty loud. But I am SOOO thankful to have a washer and dryer - also from Lisa and Ted.

View from the kitchen into the dining room and over into the living room.

La cocina. After the patio, it's my second favorite "room" in the house.

2010-08-16T10:58:00.002-06:00

Friday I submitted my application to the state for licensure, so that's another step forward in the process here to start working - counseling anyway.
Last night I realized I had found a great church. They had their annual BBQ contest. There was smoked and barbequed sausage, pork, beef, turkey, chicken, venison, and a couple of mystery meats. Delish. I only wish I could have tried them all and gotten more of the ones I liked.
My new roommate is moving in today. It may be weird after having lived by myself for the past almost 2 years. I think it will be good, though.
Anybody seen Inception? It's been getting rave reviews from everyone I've talked to who's seen it.
It's 88 degrees right now. A cool front moved in last night, I guess, and I am SO glad.
Good Monday!

Above and Beneath the Tithe

2010-08-09T12:26:00.003-06:00

I just moved into the new place this weekend. I think I described it before, but it's a townhouse, 2 bdrm, 2 1/2 bth, and so far I like it a lot! They put in new carpet and painted before we moved in. David was very helpful with the move. He did a lot of loading and unloading as did his roommate Spencer. Kevin and Lindsey helped out their friends (now my friends too) Jeff and Jennie came and were over the top helpful. I've really been amazed at how generous people (including the aforementioned) have been here. I got a bed thanks to the church secretary and furniture ministry at church. It's a full and very comfortable. Then when Jennie saw I had a bar and no dining room table, she said she had some barstools she'd give me that had been sitting in her attic. On Saturday, I met my friend Tennille's sister (Lisa Dahlman) for coffee and found out they were trying to sell and give away some furniture they have in storage, sooo I bought their washer and dryer and was given a nice, comfortable, brown suede couch. God always provides more abundantly that I expect or imagine.
This has all made me think about: "All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need." Acts 2:44, 45 I've been that one in need recently, and it's cool how people have given things or how I could get furniture for a cheap amount, and by paying, in return, help out the ones who are selling. I don't read these verses and get worried that God's calling us to political socialism :) , but rather I think it's about people with sincere spirits that seek to give and bless other people. When you are on the receiving end of giving like that, it has a domino effect. I'm finding all the time that it's not about how much you perceive that you have to give. It's about what you have, right now, and blessing other people with what you have, right now. I think giving and allowing what you have to be used, right now, is the best use of what God gives us (Matthew 25). For me, the real key is thinking outside the box and noticing the needs people have that I have the ability and means (from God in the first place), right now, to meet - even when it feels like I don't have that much and I'd like to have more.
Since I'm so charged up right now about this topic, let's have a little discussion board generosity regarding creative or not-so-creative ways you have given to others, ways others have given to you, or ways you observed other people give and meet needs. And be generous with your comments! :D

Traveling Grace

2010-08-05T08:15:00.002-06:00

Seeing everyone at Red Mountain was a blast! I liked what Aaron said one night about family being some of our closest friends. I enjoy (I think there's a much stronger word than that, but I can't think of it now) being around every single person who was there and really missed the ones who weren't.
Our trip back turned into a wild one. A couple of hours into the trip (I was driving), we realized that we were travelling south instead of east. We were involved in each other's presentations of expertise that we didn't do at Red Mountain - Matt talked about how much it costs for pharmaceutical companies to get drugs on the market, Brittany talked about the fourth wall in acting and emoting (?) on camera, broadway, etc., David talked about centralized and decentralized organizations, and I talked about how the MFT field and family therapy is different than traditional psychology therapy. It was all so fascinating and CO did such a poor job of marking their highways, that we ended up going 180 miles out of our way. Yes. 180. I just figured it out on googlemaps.
In Lamar the hwy signs were not clear. Apparently I was supposed to make a left turn somewhere to continue on Hwy 50, but missed it. It looked like the only reason to turn left was to take the Hwy 50 truck route. As we weren't in a truck, we of course did not take that, and that was mistake number 1. No big deal, we thought. At that point it would be quicker to continue on the Hwy south to Springfield and take Hwy 16o north to get back to Hwy 50. Right as we were coming to the area where we would turn off, we hit major construction. The two lane hwy was turned to one lane for I think at least 20 miles, maybe more? I'm not the best estimate with stuff like that. Anyway, after waiting for a very long time for the traffic to come through from the opposite direction, we finally got to go. Right after we started we saw a sign for Hwy 16o South or West pointing to the right, so we figured the turn to go North/East was just down the road a little ways. There was a road to the left at that sign, but it looked like a little neighborhood road. As we drove past that intersection, Matt looked behind us and sure enough that was our turn north, BUT we were in one lane traffic and there was no way to turn around for what seemed like a long time. By the time we were out of construction there were no hwys to turn north on, so we went on to Boise City, OK, then Guymon, and eventually we cut back up into Kansas and made it to Rock where M and B's car was parked. I think we got to Rock around 11. I don't know how long it took M and B to get back to Noble, but the way Hwy 77 curved around (we sure didn't miss any more turns at this point), we didn't get back to Tulsa until around 2. I dropped David off and headed home to my little spot on the couch. So, our trip ended up being about 15 hours. Despite the extra 3-4 hours added on, the trip was a blast.
Besides our presentations of expertise, :) we ate twizlers, we rocked out to Jesus Freak (that was my favorite), some Kirk Franklin, and a little Reliant K. We ate at Dairy Queen for lunch and Subway for supper. Sadly we were in such small towns most of the day that we weren't able to use the McDonald's coupons Nan gave us. When we came to Wellington, KS, and saw the golden arches we were overjoyed. Then we went in and they told us that they didn't serve frappes or smoothies. You've got to be kidding me. I was very disappointed. So, I guess we'll all be using our coupons individually. Thanks anyway Nan, for thinking of us!
Gentry's new roomate moved in right before I left, so they're letting me stay on the couch until tomorrow when I can move into my new place!!! Gentry works and travels a lot so I haven't seen much of her, but she has been such a great roomate. I've really enjoyed getting to know her.
I'll move in tomorrow afternoon, Lord willing. I need to buy a washer and dryer, a couch or futon, a bed, and maybe a dining room table. So basically I need a lot of furniture. I might have found two bar stools for really cheap. I need to see for sure how high the bar is before I buy those though.
Happy almost weekend!

Runner's High

2010-07-27T14:42:00.008-06:00

Recently as I've been trying to up my amount of exercising in anticipation - maybe preparation is a better word - for this mud run on Sat. I've had a lot of thoughts about God and exercise and action and sacrifice. Some of it has been jumbled and some of it has not been, so here's an attempt to put it a few thoughts together. The college group and young prof. group at church have been going through James recently and it's been very challenging. I've been thinking about this stuff off and on all summer.
I am not a runner at heart. I don't enjoy it. Last night as I ran the longest maybe that I've ever run at one time, I kept wondering, "At what point does the runner's high come?" At one point I thought I was experiencing the high, but then I realized it was just that I was running downhill after going up a super steep one. Maybe, I thought, if I could experience that high, I would be more motivated to run further more often. Then as I was slamming my lead-weight feet on the road and gasping for breath, it came to me that even though I don't have a good feeling towards running, that doesn't change the reality that running is good for my heart - both physical and emotional. In fact, the more I thought about, it in between thoughts of "What am I doing?!? I hate this! Why did I agree to do that mud run?", I thought about how exercise has the potential to be an incredible expression of submission to God. It is more than a symbol, though. The act of running for me and pushing myself past what my nature desires is submission to and dependence on God's power. Then I thought about how running is submission, but how that act is also representative of the kind of action that God calls me to in other areas of my life. Sometimes, probably most times, submission and obediance to God and what he plans for me will be the most painful, illogical, emotionally difficult courses I will ever have to say yes to. The guy leading the study on James made the point that God is more than willing to give us wisdom when we ask, but that we need to be sure that we are not double-minded and unwilling to go through and receive the wisdom that God may be ready to give us. He also said, "God does not mold our character without our consent." I'm still thinking about that one, but I really think it is line with what James teaches. Our participation in the molding of our character by God is where asking and action and perseverance come into play.
All of this is to say that submission and sacrifice by definition are going to be easy to practice, but God is faithful. And it probably isn't what would be classified as "runner's high", but I was feeling pretty good and rewarded when I finished running for 39 long minutes.
James 4:7-10
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Hello mountains!

2010-07-23T15:08:00.003-06:00

TGIF!!! Due to "training" for this mud run in CO, I'm not having Dr. Pepper today to celebrate the weekend, but next Saturday it will be time to do it up big.
I met my new MFT supervisor today and he signed the needed paperwork, so Lord willing I will be able to submit all of the licensure stuff by early next week.
On the housing front, I think my new roommate and I have found a townhouse. I really like it and it's only a 6 month lease, although hopefully it will work out great and I won't have to make another move that soon. Speaking of the new roommate, I'm going to eat dinner with her and her family at her parents' house tonight. I think steak is on the menu. Yummmm.
One week from today David and I should be getting close to Red Mountain. We're planning to leave early Fri. morning. When is everyone else getting there? Can't wait to see all of you!!

Living the life

2010-07-08T09:46:00.002-06:00

I counted this morning and I've been in Tulsa 5 weeks. Time flies when you're having fun and when you're out of town (WV and TX) for a couple of weeks out of that. But really, I like it pretty well here. I'm in the middle of finding a place to live. I'm going to have a roomate who's a college student here in town. A couple of girls at church suggested that we live together and it will be very nice financially.
I'm working as the receptionist at the Christian Counseling Center right now till August sometime I think when the regular receptionist comes back from maternity leave. Hopefully right around that time I'll be able to start doing therapy, but it will depend on the status of my licensure application. Status right now - Not submitted yet. There has been one little delay after another, so looks like by the end of next week I'll get everyone to sign who needs to. I'm looking at picking up another job for awhile and creating a some cushion for myself. Dave Ramsey recommends it. :)
Random thought of the day - concerning difficulties, pain, suffering, etc., I've been thinking along the themes of these two verses recently:
2 Corinthians 1:9: Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
James 1:2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Limits

2010-07-07T10:04:00.004-06:00

Everytime I read what he's written it's so challenging! Pulled out of context a little, but to see the full context, go to his blog. I've taken some of what he's written because if you're like me, you often don't click on the links people put on their blogs. If you do, go read the rest of this on his blog - Restlessness: Not Acknowleding Our Limits Can Keep Us From Focusing On Anything Permanent

Here's what Rhett Smith says:

When Our Desires Come Into Conflict With Our LimitationsThis is where the rubber meets the road. Each one of us has lots of things we want to do with our lives. There are lots of things we want to accomplish each day…but those desires, and our passions can often hit limits. Last year I wrote a post, Limits and Potential: Living Free Within That Tension, which was a reflection on this issue as formulated by Parker Palmer in the book, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. Palmer puts it this way:

“Everything in the universe has a nature, which means limits as well as potentials, a truth well known by people who work daily with the things of the world. Making pottery, for example, involves more than telling the clay what to become. The clay presses back on the potter’s hands, telling her what it can and cannot do–and if she fails to listen, the outcome will be both frail and ungainly. Engineering involves more than telling materials what they must do. If the engineer does not honor the nature of the steel or the wood or the stone, his failure will go beyond aesthetics: the bridge or the building will collapse and put human life in peril.
The human self also has a nature, limits as well as potentials. If you seek vocation without understanding the material you are working with, what you build with your life will be ungainly and may well put lives in peril, your own and some of those around you. “Faking it” in the service of high values is no virtue and has nothing to do with vocation. It is an ignorant, sometimes arrogant, attempt to override one’s nature, and it will always fail.”

God has created us with many desires and passions for our lives, but the reality is, is that on this side of heaven, many of them will not come to fruition. That feeling can leave us in a constant state of restlessness, unable to truly commit to anything permanent, therefore, leaving us constantly in a state of not acknowledging our limits, and with an inability to focus on anything for a long period of time.

To go or not to go?

2010-07-06T15:46:00.003-06:00

I don't follow people too much on blogs, except for family, but this guy has outstanding stuff to say. I might be a little biased since he's an MFT, but I like it because he combines Christianity and marriage and family therapy excellently. This recent post on when to seek marriage counseling is good. Although trained in the field, since I'm not married myself, I like to refer to the "experts". A little extra credibility, I think. With some of them anyway. So check this blog out and it's okay to feel anxious at the thought of going to counseling. To me, like he says it's an opportunity for growth, and therefore even though it may be difficult, it's often a very enjoyable process ultimately. Why, why, why, especially as Christians would we not seek opportunities for growth? And you aren't alone. God is with you in the process.

http://rhettsmith.com/

I'm back!!

2010-06-14T11:03:00.003-06:00

I met with a my hopeful new supervisor this morning, so am thinking and praying about that before I decide to go with him for sure and submit everything to the state licensing board. Supervision is really expensive. Between the 3 and 4 hundreds per month if you're full time. Sooooo much. But, that's all part of the process. After passing the oral and written exams and a full two years of supervision, then I will be receive my actual license. I'm glad I didn't know how involved all of this stuff was before I started. Ignorance is bliss and helps me get through things. If I look to far into the future it's overwhelming and I give up before I ever get started, so I definitely don't care to know the future.

Time for a question. I know, some of you (maybe Nat and Ethan?) have been waiting in eager expectation for one of these, and just so you aren't disappointed, here you go - a closer look into the chaotic, rambling thoughts of me.
What is the line between having expectations for people you love, and becoming "needy" or controlling or too dependent on what they do?
Some of us have ridculously low or high expectations for the people we love and some of us act like we don't have any expectations period, so how does one go about coming up with a happy medium? This question, or I guess two questions, are broad on purpose. Basically give me your thoughts on expectations and relationships.

TULSA

2010-06-07T13:47:00.002-06:00

Maybe, just maybe I'll be able to turn over a new blogging leaf, now that school is over. Praise the Lord about that! This is a much overdue update, and be warned - fairly long. :)
The whirlwind called my life has finally quit spinning so much and the dust is starting to settle. T and I have both been making a lot of wind/weather kind of metephorical statements. Weird. So now that the dust is settling, I've been catching up on sleep and taking a much needed break from I guess everything! I wish I could back up and cover I guess the past month, and really the past couple of years! But anyway, the last month has included, finishing school, finals, graduation, Mom, Dad, Tricia, David, Holly, Aaron, Maddy, and Rachel coming for gradutaiton!, going to Breax Bridge, Lafayette, and Avery Island, LA with Mom and Dad, going to friend, Melissa's wedding in Gulfport, MS with friend Kari, coming back and packing up, and hanging out with friends until June 1. Crazy. I'm so so thankful for the good friends I made in Monroe, both in the MFT program and at White's Ferry Rd.
I moved to Tulsa last Tuesday. David had brought a huge load with him when he came down grad. weekend and then my friends Linda and Ryan took some furniture with them on their way to Iowa, so with my car loaded down and my friend Tennille's car slightly loaded we headed north. Tennille's sister and brother-in-law live here, so we've been able to hang out a couple of times since she's been here this week. I'm living with one of my brother's friends, Gentry, until Aug. 1. She needed a roomate for a couple of months till her friend moves in. Her place is great! It's the upstairs of a two story house that's been turned into a 2 bdrm, 2 bthrm apt. Everything is new and nice. And best of all, she has a washer and dryer!! I've been loving that. It's also walking distance to a cool little area called Brookside. I'm a 5-10 min. walk from a coffee shop called Shades of Brown, which is where I am now. :) Also I'm within walking distance of a really nice walk/run/biking trail right next to the river (the Red River maybe? can't remember) Back to living situation - I've started looking for another place already and although cost of living is cheaper here than Monroe, I may have to settle for not getting what I want (washer & dryer, more than one bdrm, and not being in an apt. complex) due to cost. Good ole finances. Anyway, I guess I can do anything for a year.
It's already been great being in the same town as Dave. We've eaten together several times and he happened to be preaching on Sun. so that was nice to get to hear him. He did an excellent job talking about envy. His college group and other people I've met at church have been welcoming and friendly.
The reason I moved here in the first place is that my friends Kevin and Lindsey Nieman work at the Christian Counseling Center here. They moved here about a year ago to start it. Lindsey was in the MFT program a year ahead of me and they worked at the White's Ferry Road counseling center before coming here. Now they're at the point where they're ready to bring someone else on, so here I am. It just so happens that the church under which they started the counseling center is the same one David was hired by - Park Plaza church of Christ. Kind of interesting. I won't be able to start practicing for a little while yet -- maybe July or August. I have to submit this huge licensure application to the state licensing board before I'm allowed to practice. Before I can submit, I have to have an approved supervisor (who will eventually be Kevin). Hopefully I will be meeting with a guy this week to talk about him supervising me. I knew it was going to be expensive, but when I heard the actual amount, it was like getting punched in the face. Kind of. It will be in the upper $300s per month. Bleah. This only lasts for 2 years, but still - that's a lot. In the meantime, I'll start doing receptionist work at the couns. center because the present receptionist is about to go on maternity leave. It will be good to have an income again. Looking at and thinking and praying about picking up another part-time or temp job until I can start practicing. Part of my reason for not, though is that I'm planning to travel some. June. 15th, I'll go to Dallas, 16th - fly to W.Virginia and go to the new cabin!, 23rd -come back to Dallas and hang out with Tricia and Mom, and go to Ethan and Jenna's wedding! 27th - back to Tulsa and hopefully immediately began the receptionist work. Then end of July and beginning of Aug. is Red Mountain. Can I get a what what?!
Besides all that, enjoying not being in school, exercising, and exploring Tulsa is on the docket for the summer. A couple of good friends from Monroe have moved to northern Arkansas, so may try to meet them to camp. And of course you guys should come visit me here! Maybe it would be better after I have my own place. Kind of feel like a guest where I am now, but seriously I hope you guys will all visit. Tulsa is a cool place and besides Daegu, the biggest city I've ever lived in.
I think that's about all the update I've got at the moment.

The Tornadoes of Change

2010-05-02T18:23:00.003-06:00

I accepted the job in Tulsa! Sooo, sometimes after graduation I'll be making the move. Graduation is May 22. And as for moving dates and specific plans - it's all up the air at the moment, but at least a decision is made!
So as far as details go, anyone want to come help me move? :) During these past couple of years I've officially aquired more than I can put in my car. If you come visit and help me move, I'll pay gas, your meals, and some (prob a small amount) of cold hard cash. The u-haul is a little out of my price range. :( And maybe we can go canoeing on black bayou before moving.
Now to write a paper on multicultural group therapy considerations and study for my career counseling final. Bleah. I am beyond excited to never write another paper. Blogging I can do. Papers, I'm ready to say goodbye to.

Minding the Gap

2010-04-15T11:22:00.002-06:00

In one month school will be over and a week after that I'll be graduating. After that, ??????. The entire world is open. I have a job opportunity in Tulsa and am strongly considering that. Not really ready to move again, but not really ready to stay either. Ahhh, decisions, decisions.
I heard a great lesson by Ravi Zacharias recently, called Mind the Gap (it's on RZIM.org ). While this was not the main point of the lesson (kind of was, though - I really recommend listening to it), he talked about times in his life that he did not know what was going on, but "he was with me". He said something to that effect anyway. The idea was that even though his life was chaos and confusion, God was with him. So as a little encouragement for today, whether you feel it or not, whether your life is peaceful at the moment or seemingly spinning out of control, whether you are able to handle what is going on or not, whether you are healthy or sick, whether you have energy or are worn out, whether you are happy or disappointed, excited about the future or filled with dread - HE IS WITH YOU.

3 Plus Months Later...

2010-02-22T18:59:00.002-07:00

I'm still alive!!!!! You can't tell it by my poor skills keeping up with everyone, but believe it or not I'm back. Holly has a good description on her blog of what we did when they came recently. I really really love having people come over for trips or dinner or just dropping by. Maddy was delightful. She is the sweetest natured little girl. And besides the fact that she loved my valentine, I have to say that she has some incredible fine motor skills. She would spot the tiniest crumb or thread, go for it, and get it! I know adults who don't have that kind of coordination (specifically thinking of my fine relatives - me brother especially - who have shaky hands). Anyway, it was a blast having them here. We ate crawfish. I still can't believe I ate more than one, but I did and even enjoyed it! That was the real Louisiana experience.
This past week I was off at the beginning of the week for the Mardi Gras break and then on Wed. evening went to Baton Rouge for the state MFT conference. It was excellent. I didn't go to one session I didn't enjoy, which is unusual for any kind of conference like that. My favorite was a session I went to on Saturday morning. Eddie Parish - one of my teachers from ACU -and a teacher from Loyola University presented. http://www.parishhermitage.org/intro.shtml Here is the website for what Eddie Parish does in Louisiana. I would whole-heartedly recommend this to any of you if you ever think something like this would be benefical to you. Ironically it is a rare thing to meet a therapist who really connects well with people outside of therapy. I have several theories why, but those are for a different time. After the conference was over two friends and I drove to New Orleans for the afternoon and met up with two other friends there at Cafe du Monde to eat beignets. So delicious and fun! New Orleans was like no other city I've been in. Drove down Bourbon Street and it was shocking, even mid-day. I would not want to be down there after dark. Speaking of dark, even though it was beautiful day, much of the atmosphere there is dark, evil - and I don't use that word loosely. Maybe "confused" is a more accurate word. Chaotic? I don't know. There were a lot of drunk people, a lot of homelessness, and there were a lot of people walking around with an empty look in their eyes.Of course Mardi Gras had just ended a few days before, so that could be part of it. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of beauty there as well. Jackson Square, the French Market, and the French Quarter were all so interesting. I would really like to go back and spend more time there. There was a ton to see. The city definitely had a foreign feel -- guess that's the French influence?
Who's been enjoying the Olympics? I've gotten to wach some. Definitely gotten pulled into the ice dancing. Speaking of Olympics I watched an entertaining movie the other day, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, something something.
Now that I've massively stalled on an assignment I should be doing, guess it's back to the drawing board. Probably won't post again until after comps (end of March), unless I need an excuse not to work again. :)
May each and every one of you have a content and satisfying week! And don't forget -- tis the Lenten season! A little self-sacrifice and discipline goes a long way.

Goings on

2009-11-11T17:12:00.004-07:00

School: Two classes, plus 5 hours at the clinic on Tuesdays. My classes haven't been bad at all this semester. Just a ton of reading. I'm more motivated to read than I've ever been because I am in need of more therapy skills. Or my client's are in need of me having more therapy skills. Or something like that.
Externship site: I'm meeting with 10-15 different kids throughout the week at different Monroe city schools and some of their families. Also, I'm facilitating 6 groups every week where we talk about anger management, social skills, etc. Love, love, love it! My favorite school is probably the alternative school. It's kind of a school/jail, so the kids there love coming to group, I think partly because we don't treat them like criminals. New words I've learned by working with kids here: Skreets (streets), Her (hair), compruter (computer), and clique (sp?) (gang).
Assistantship: Staying busy doing office work. Mainly working with the dual enrollment program -- high school kids being able to take classes at their schools for college credit. It is a blessing to work with flexible, super fun ladies.
The Center: I've been working there maybe 2 hours a week on Friday afternoon, just keeping things going. Don't plan to work there next year, but still need to talk to them about that...It's been a good job, but I don't have time for it anymore.
Free time: What's that?
Next year: Will be doubly busy. Taking 15 hours instead of 9, plus a heavier homework/assignment load, plus comps in March. Really really excited about that craziness coming up. (To be read with a very sarcastic tone.)
Escape: Going to Austin this weekend to visit Rachel at her new place! I'll drive to Nacogdoches, meet Heather, and then we'll head on to Austin. Then, for Thanksgiving going to Grammy and Papaw's!!! Christmas break, going home (just in time to see Mom graduate), then going to Grand Junction for Andrea's wedding, and back to Boise. Hopefully we'll get some skiing in. My friend Gina in Boise is having twins right around that time, or maybe before, so looking forward to holding some babies and hanging out with her. :)
Church: Love White's Ferry Road. Heading out to "peak of the week" in a few minutes. I've always loved Wednesday night church, except maybe in Logan :) , but here it is especially encouraging. It's always worth it to go even when I'm drained. Fellowship with other Christians is one of the things helping me make it through this program.
Weather: Absolutely gorgeous here. The cypress trees are changing to a burnt orange color. They weather has been great. Haven't had anymore rain, thankfully. During September and October we got triple or quadruple the average amount. The river has just crested recently or is about to soon. It is very high. I don't think there's any flood worry for the area where I live, even though I live about 8 blocks from the Ouachita river. So, I'm fine with no more clouds and rain. Would be nice to get a freeze to get rid of some mosquitos.
And that's my life right now and in the near fruture (how my kids in group would say it), Lord willing.

Rain and humidity

2009-09-13T13:41:00.005-06:00

I stole these pictures from a couple of girls on facebook, so they are small. I forgot to bring my camera on our trip north.

Once again I'm slow about posting something. I don't really have any excuse except laziness. I've become a Louisianian. Temporarily anyway. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, right? It's been raining here on an off this weekend which means one thing -- big hair. It's amazing how fast my hair gets frizzy and big when I step outside my house in the morning. From what I've heard, the summer has been exceptionally dry, so I haven't had to deal with this kind of mugginess until recently. We're talking over 100% humidity. :) And a lot of clouds. This weather also means that I have to turn every light on in the apartment to make it feel like I'm getting a little sunshine.

Nothing too too exciting has been happening. School started a couple of weeks ago. What a blast. It really hasn't been bad so far, acutally. I have two classes and supervision/clinic/internship which is 5-8 hours a week for me. Then I have an externship which is the same as internship except it's off campus. Mine is with Safe Schools so I'm meeting with kids who have been referred by their teachers or parents to get counseling. With some kids I'll be meeting with their families also, which is very exciting since I am in school to be a family therapist. Besides working at the clinic and Safe Schools (which is paying by the way!), I'm also working 20 hours a week for my GA, and a few hours a week doing data entry at the Center. My GA is great this fall. It started in July and is with the Dept. of Continuing Education which offers classes like floral arranging, culinary classes, beginning guitar, etc. and a lot of certification kinds of classes.

I guess I haven't written on here since going to CO and then to MI and Canada. Wow, it has been awhile. All of that seems like a long time ago. Here are a couple of pictures from Canada. Heather, Rachel, and I went to MI for a friend's wedding and then we went on to the Toronto area from Detroit to see 3 girls we met in Korea. It was such a good trip. Niagra Falls was more incredible than I had imagined. I haven't seen it from the States, but the Canada side is supposedly better. It would be hard to beat what we saw. We got to go ride on the Maid of the Mist, which is a boat that goes very close to the bottom of the falls. The rest of the time we were there we went to a little town called Niagra-on-the-Lake, toured a winery that is known for its ice wine, went to Toronto and visited the Royal Ontario Museum, went through the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit that was there (amazing!), went to harbor of Lake Ontario, ate at a Korean restaurant, then went to a Noraebang (singing/karoke room) like we used to do in Daegu all the time. I know I'm missing some things we did, but it was such a great trip. Oh yeah, and we had to stay in Detroit for an extra day because I left my passport in Monroe. Thankfully I had a friend who was able to Fedex it! That little experience of leaving my passport was enough to give me an ulcer, but it ended up being good. Heather and Rachel were very gracious about it and we had a chace to look around Detroit. We made it home without getting shot, so I guess the trip was a success. I hear a lot about Detroit being dangerous, but I felt much safer there than I do in Monroe. ha Don't be alarmed. I feel fairly safe here, especially after moving to my new place and of couse I have my trusty pepper spray.

Time for me to quit delaying the inevitable. The books are calling...

2009-07-10T13:54:00.002-06:00

Due to a recent move, being super busy, and being super lazy when I have had free time, and my internet being messed up since I moved a month and half ago, I haven't posted in a long time. So here's an update on the big stuff that's been going on. (I know no one cares, but I'm ending this sentence with a preposition purposefully, since it's not a paper.)
I just got back from Holly and Aaron's and Maddy's on Sunday. :) I went to spend the 4th weekend with them and it was a blast. So relaxing and Maddy is a doll! I really enjoyed getting to see them. We went to Ft. Worth to the Kimbell Art Museum, the Water Gardens and this yummy BBQ restaurant. Also I got to see DBU, which is a really nice campus. Then on the 4th they cooked out (the beef was excellent! from their cow) and in the evening we went and watched the fireworks in Lewisville. It was way hot that night, but the fireworks were good. It was sad to come back to the grind in Monroe after such a fun weekend.
I've probably said it before, but I'm officially burned out on school. If you don't like boring details, skip this paragraph. The spring semester ended well. Definitely a hard semester. The number of hours and the amount of work I was doing was more than I've ever done in my life, hence the lack of blogs. :) Right after the spring semester ended, I did a Psychopharmacology short course online. After that, I took a Cultural Diversity course for two weeks. I then had a week off in which I worked a lot and did my externship (what they call an internship in my program) with a Jr. High here. My externship site for that month was leading a group (class) about conflict resolution/anger management. That was really fun. I learned a ton more than the kids did, for sure. They were a lot of fun and hopefully they got something out of the class. Also, during all this time, I've been seeing clients one or two nights a week and on Thursday evenings I'm up there for 4 hours for supervision/meeting with clients. Now I've just started two classes Assessment and Theories of Counseling, along with supervision of course. I have a break from my externship briefly before school starts back, but then I'll be going to schools and meeting with kids individually, leading a group or two a week, and hopefully meeting with their families as well. This week as school has started, I've also started a new GA. It is in the Dept. of Continuing Education, which covers a lot of things, but it mainly runs classes and programs that are for people interested in classes for fun -- line dancing, learning to play the piano, or for people to become certified in something like taking a class to become a notary (?). I'll be doing adminstrative stuff for the most part. Really, really enjoy it so far. The people are great in this office. That will be a 20 hr. a week position. The summer II classes I'm in right now will be done at the beginning of Aug.
Which leads me to what I'm really excited about...the family reunion!!!! I've gotten the ok from my teachers to miss a little of class, so I should be able to be there for most of it. I'll get to Denver on Fri. and fly out on Tues. Yay!!!!! I cannot wait!
The next week after I get back, I'm going with Heather and Rachel to our friend Liz's wedding in Detroit (super excited about this too!!) and then we are going to Canada to see 3 or 4 friends we met in Korea. They are all back from teaching also. Hopefully we'll get to go to Niagra Falls.
The other thing that has happened recently was that I moved to a great place that is light and quiet and more expensive, but well worth the money. I'll have to write about that soon. But for now time for me to head home -- using the internet at work; it's DIDS day and the Dr. Pepper is calling.

Spring

2009-04-25T14:47:00.004-06:00

This picture is of azaleas in Korea, but they have been just as bright and in bloom here. The Spring has been so beautiful!

This semester has really flown by. I didn't feel that way a few weeks ago, but now I've got one week fo classes and then finals, so there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure the fact that I got my two papers turned in the past week helps me see the end also. Last week was one of the busiest of my life. If I wasn't so overly perfectionistic about dumb little things, the time it took me to write them probably could have been cut in two, but speediness is not my talent. I just registered today for summer school. It looks like I'll be taking 12 or 15 hours this summer, which spread out the way they are, hopefully won't be too bad.

I can't remember if I've ever written anything about my externship (fancy name for internship)? Several cool things have happened there. I had my heart set on working for the church I'm part of at their counseling center, but several things happened over time which made it seem like it wasn't a good fit. One of those things that I became aware of as I've started seeing clients at the clinic and working with Kevin and Lindsey at the church a little is that for now I'm not super interested in marital therapy. I am being trained to be a marriage and family therapist, so, I will be qualified to do it when the chance occurs, but it's not what I primarily want to do. Anyway, trying to figure out what I would do besides that caused me some major anxiety since we have to complete a specific number of internship hours to be able to graduate, but of course to do that I had to have an internship! Well, as usual, God has been beyond faithful to me. The opportunity came for me to work with Monroe City Schools which is unpaid, but a really great opportunity. The guy in charge of the program is great and the other two girls I'll be working with are good friends from class. So, I accepted the offer to work there, still feeling pretty anxious about finances for next year. Paid internships are nice because you spend so many hours there during the week, it's often hard to work a different job. Regardless, I was so happy to have an internship that I think will be a really good fit for me. Haven't started yet, so I don't know for sure, but I feel better about it.

In addition to that, came the news that my GA will not be available next year, so I needed to start looking for one, and even then, major cuts are going on at ULM, so it's up in the air whether they will be available period. I don't know how it is in other states, but this is what I found out yesterday about Louisiana (may or may not be completely accurate because I may not have understood correctly). By law, Louisiana has to have a balanced budget. By law also, there are only two areas where spending can be cut -- education and healthcare. As a result, major cuts are being made at ULM and other universities. They are not only letting go professors, but they are also completely cutting some programs. The MFT program is on the table to be cut, but I don't imagine it will be since is one of the best programs at ULM. The present students shouldn't be affected, but our entire MFT campus which is on the other side of the bayou from the university may be forced to move. :( It baffles me that any state would want to cut spending in education right now. I know there may be bigger things at stake, but as tons of people are losing their jobs, getting more education is something that I think a lot of people will do. I heard the other day that 60% of college students across the nation are "non-traditional" students, and I think that number is going to go up. I may not have any idea what I'm talking about, but these are just my thoughts on the matter based on what I've heard. Enough on that. :)

So, back to my internship story. I just got a call yesterday from Scott, my internship boss, and he asked if I'd be interested in doing extra internship hours this summer and getting paid for them. Also in the fall I have the potential of getting paid a monthly stipend amount for working for them. Amazing!! I've been worrying about how I will be making ends meet besides taking out big loans, and here's what happens. Even when I am not fully trusting, God is gracious and faithful.

At the beginning of spring break getting to see Tricia run her marathon was a blast. I was inspired. The inspiration hasn't lasted, but when school slows down more, hopefully it will come back. You guys who are running this weekend have my ultimate respect and I'll be cheering you on from here! I wish I could have seen Maddy, Holly, Aaron, and Estelle for longer, but the short visit was nice. Maddy is super cute. Going to Boise was delightful. I didn't do the work I needed to, but it was a much needed break. Did a lot of talking, playing scrabble, walking (even a little jogging!), eating, and more talking. I love my parents.

On a possibly, possibly not, more profound note, here's what I've been thinking about recently. Living here has not been the funnest (is that a word?) thing in my life, but I've been thinking a lot recently about refinement and how God never promises us that life will be fun or enjoyable all the time. So when I've had a complaining spirit recently, I've been trying to reframe the situation and see it as a chance for refinement. Often we don't know why things happen, but everything that happens is an opportunity for growth or destruction. Thankfully, once I've responded poorly to life doesn't mean that I have to respond poorly in the future. Discomfort, sadness, frustration, disappointment, pain, fill in the blank are a chance for us to allow ourselves to be refined by God into someone who does not have to be controlled or defined by those experiences and emotions. And at some point spring comes.

In the meantime, here's a little two-liner.

2009-04-20T18:34:00.006-06:00

This week is busy, busy, like the whole semester has been, but the end is in sight!! 2 weeks of classes and then finals. I have 2 papers due this week and then I'll try to write a blog covering what's happened since February 24th. (I thought I'd posted something since then, but apparently it's only been thoughts!) Spring break was so good, but now it's back to the grindstone and I've felt more burned out than ever. Prayer needed - mucho. God supplies my power. He supplies your's too. I know a lot of you are feeling the burn as much and more than I am. Oh the fun of refinement.

Lent Police + Louisiana = A taller soapbox

2009-02-24T17:20:00.005-07:00

I've really been loving these passages recently. I just copied them over from BibleGateway.com.
2 Corinthians 5:11-6:2
11Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 12We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 13If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
1As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2For he says, "In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you."[a] I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.
Psalm 138:3
3 When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. :)

Pretty much unrelated to the above passages, the holiday (yes, I really do view it as a holiday) of Lent starts tomorrow. You giving anything up? I really, really recommend it. You may say, as do half the people I try to convince: "I'm not Catholic." Who cares? I know I don't and God doesn't either! ha So here's my soapbox. It's a good opportunity to build self-discipline as well as more reliance on the Holy Spirit to fill the void that you normally try to fill with something else. I don't know, maybe you are naturally one of those people who doesn't try to fill yourself with things or relationships, or situations and are always completely reliant on God. Just like the saying, "You cannot not communicate.", I believe you cannot not fill yourself. Whether you realize it or not, you are putting in or allowing things in which fill you and shape you to be the person you are. Jesus was intentional about what he filled himself with - the power of God's spirit - and part of his intentionality involved going without. (Example: fasting from food for 40 days - same length of time as Lent!) So my (and make no mistake, I may seem like a brilliant intellectual, :) but I'm not claiming to have the inside view on this anymore than any of you would) take on lent, is not so much about the giving up and emptying and beating yourself into the ground. It's more about giving up and emptying in order to be more intentional about being filled with the power of God. I'm not judging if you don't do lent, but it's been beneficial to me every year I've done it, so I like to share the love.
Have any of you guys tried the flavored folgers coffee? I'm drinking the chocolate silk blend right now and it is yummy.

The Season of Mardi Gras

2009-02-19T21:30:00.004-07:00

Craziness is consuming my life right now, so haven't had much chance to stay up with anyone. I feel very out of the loop (my own doing). Here's an update on me. :)

School is going well. After we come back from the break next week, I'll be starting co-therapy. Kind of scary, but everything is so busy I haven't had time to get truly nervous about it yet. Schools in LA are off from Mon.-Wed. of next week for Mardi Gras. Then Thurs.-Sat. is the Louisiana MFT conference in Baton Rouge and I'll be going to that. Should be great. Several MFT big names will be there presenting, so I'm looking forward to it.

My job at the center is going well. The people there are great. Every Wed. are small group meetings called Huddle. (This place is like no other place I've worked before.) My group is called Catfish and Grits and is all about learning about the Mississippi Delta. I could devote several blogs to talking about that. The culture here is very different and so we've talked about that and had a chance to take some field trips. Yesterday we went to the Tensas Wildlife Refuge. Unfortunately we got lost so didn't see too much wildlife. Mainly deer and a few birds. There are alligators and Louisiana black bears (estimated count on the refuge is between 400 and 650) and tons of other wildlife. Really wanted to see a bear, but of course, didn't happen. I could have settled for an alligator, too. Instead just got to see cypress trees and cypress knees. Very interesting. Loved the trip. It was so nice to be outdoors and I heard it was 85 degrees yesterday, so it was a pleasant day for a trip like that. Not too humid either. :)

A couple weeks ago I went to a local Mardi Gras parade. It's a big deal here, of course, and hearing what I've heard about New Orleans, I didn't know how much I wanted to go to this one, but I was assured it was family friendly and pretty harmless. The parade was at night, so taht was different. I still need to look this up, but the theme or name of the parade or something was the Crewe of Janis. Not sure what that is all about, something French maybe? Lots of people were wearing masks. I saw some crazy hats and a lot of green, purple, and gold. The other big thing was all of the beads. People on every float were throwing the beads and the idea was to get as many as possible. It's different than New Orleans, because here, all you have to do is yell and scream and they throw them at you. Like I said, it's the family friendly version. I've never seen so many beads in my life. Side note, today a guy I know had beads that he had gotten from the Catholic student center at lunch, so there are different meanings for them depending on where you are. There were the normal bands that came through, which is always my favorite part. One of the most interesting parts was the sons of the confederacy. According to my friends there were many more participants this year than there have been in the past; they believed it was due to Obama becoming president. All I know is that there were a lot of rebel flags and there were definitely no black people in the group. They didn't reenact anything, but they did shoot a few times. So that was my Mardi Gras experience. Also, a girl brought a King Cake to class this morning. It was pretty good -- more like sweet bread with gold, purple, and green sprinkles on top. This one didn't have a baby in it. Supposedly the baby represents baby Jesus. I asked what you get if you find the baby in your piece and they said that you get to bring the next King cake. After being here and seeing all the fun traditions, I have a new take on Mardi Gras. Don't really care to experience the New Orleans version after what I've heard about it, but the Monroe version has been a blast! Which brings me to the all-important question that must be asked at this time of year. What are you giving up for Lent? It's a great chance to put a little discipline into your life. I recommend it. I believe this is year number 8 for me, and each year it gets a little sweeter. That is, if I don't give up sweets.

From Sea to Shining Sea

2009-01-30T20:11:00.006-07:00

Well, it's been forever since I've been on here. At least it feels like it. The semester has gotten off to a hectic, but good start. I'm trying to become more disciplined and better with time management, but it seems like there are not enough hours. I'm going to my GA every morning at 7:30. I scan in kids ID cards who come to Math class in the math resource room aka MRC aka math lab (sorry I've been so slow in getting back to you about that, Nan!). The math lab is the new way they are teaching math these days which is on the computer. It is a complicated mess sometimes as you can imagine when technology is involved. They go to math lecture 2 days a week and then they come to the lab 2 days a week. I also check attendence and recheck attendence and check again. Then I email students who were absent to tell them that we know they were absent and if they miss 25% of class they will fail blah blah blah. It's a lot of mind numbing busy work that I really don't enjoy, but the people who work in there are pleasant and I get a kick out of watching freshman stagger into their 8:00 classes. Kind of weird, but it's my morning entertainment. At that point in the morning I've got enough coffee in me that I'm beyond the staggering myself. By the way, I've decided I'm a big fan of cinnamon, gingercookie kind of flavored coffees. Flavored coffees in general -- Delicious!

Then at 8:45 I take off from the math lab and go to class on M, T, Th, and Fri. On Wed. I don't have class, so I work longer in the lab. My classes are definitely more interesting and relevant this semester. Not as many tests, but more reaction papers and research papers and lit reviews. Aaargh!!! When class gets out at 11:45, I go to my new job at the Center for Children and Families and am there till 4:30 or 5. This job has been great so far. Secretarial work, mainly filing and data entry kind of like what I did at Herald of Truth. It's kind of nice because this work is mindless -- not mind numbing -- but it's a nice break from thinking about school stuff. As you know I king of enjoy having things organized and that's what this is about. There are tons of Marriage and Family therapy people who work there who have been through ULM or are there presently, and somehow, mainly from them I've been given the nickname Skidmo. Another nickname several people at school call me is potato/potatoes/taters and most recently sweet potato. ha Kind of weird. As long as I like the people, I don't mind nicknames and I like these people so it's all good. They aren't calling me Jessie and that's what counts. :) Back to the schedule. On Mon. nights I have class from 5-8. On Tuesday nights I'm in supervision (right now observing 2nd year MFT students do therapy at the clinic) from 5-8. Then on Wed. nights is church. Last semester I wasn't really disciplined about going, but I'm so encouraged and energized after going that I'm building it in to my week this semester. Right now they've just started a study through Colossians that's going to be good, plus the music is always great. So that's my week presently. I'm going to start meeting with the main counselor at White's Ferry Road for supervision each week (therapist mentoring?) and hopefully I will be doing co-therapy with his wife later in the spring and then eventually taking over her clients. Soooo, that's my life in a nutshell. Kind of detailed and probably more than you wanted to know.

Thinking about the potato nicknames has brought to mind something I've wondered about a lot since I've been here. What kind of stereotypes or things do you connect with certain states? With Idaho, people always say potatoes or the Boise State blue field, but many people don't know that Idaho is the home of fry sauce and many Idahoans don't know that other states don't have it. I'd say that Arkansas and West Virginia have definite hillbilly reputations across the country. I think sometimes the things that people associate with certain states are not so much what the residents of that state might say. And then again they might. So, I'm curious which states you have automatic thoughts or stereotypes that come to mind. For example with Montana, I think milita, unibomber, and the quote, "Montana: where the men are men and the women are too." When I think South Dakota, I just think Mount Rushmore and the reptile gardens. When I think California, I think San Francisco, Golden Gate Bridge, and liberal. I'm especially curious about the reputation Louisiana has to you and things people think about this state in general. The more I'm here, the more interesting this state gets. It gets lumped into "the South", but the Southern states all have their differences. I'm hoping to do an EET article soon about the culture here. I love that each state has its own laws and culture and reputation and I love being in states where people have a lot of state pride. Some states definitely don't have as much pride as others, which I think is a shame. If I was a long-term native of one state, you can bet I would have some state pride. As it is, I'm just proud of all the states and their own unique characteristics. I could go on all night, but I'll stop now. :)

2009-01-12T20:38:00.002-07:00

The break was so great! Really loved it. Had a blast in Oklahoma with Dad, Mom, Tricia, David , Matt, Brittany, and Nat, in David's apt. in Edmond for Christmas. It was one of the best Christmases ever! Christmas Eve we ate breakfast burritos and played games. That might have been my favorite evening. The night before we ate out and went to see this great Christmas light display in Chickashaw(sp?). I really, really enjoyed David's graduation -- more the party afterward than the food. He has some great friends. It was fun watching them together.
Then Lubbock was super fun as well. I told G and G this, but I always enjoy being at their house. Ever since I was little, I love going to see them or have them come see us. As with many things in life, I appreciate them more, the older I get. Also Nan and Billy came over. Got to see more of Nat, Chrissy and her sweet kids, Ethan, Uncle David and Janet, and Uncle John. I'm so thankful for lovely family. Oh yeah, I can't forget one of the highlights on the way back to Lubbock: getting to drive Nat's truck. That thing is great!
On the 31st I drove over to spend New Year's with Heather. We went to singing night at church with her family. Gotta love the old hymns, especially when they're led by 3 year olds. Possibly every male of every age in the church led a song. Then she and I went to the Cheescake Factory for dinner. I got an "Incredible Grilled Eggplant Sandwhich" or something like that. Yes, sounds weird, but it's something I would never fix for myself at home. It was pretty good, but I probably wouldn't order it again. We got back to the house just in time to see the ball drop and then we dropped into bed for a few hours of sleep. Then, she so kindly took me to the airport early the next morning so I could fly to Boise.
Ahhh, Boise how I love thee. It would be nice to somehow transplant that city right here for the rest of the time I'm in school. Mom, and Dad, and I played several good games of scrabble, walked, shopped, and drank coffee, and... not sure what else, but it was relaxing. They've just started small groups at church and the first one was excellent. Very challenging. I got to hang out with my friend Gina a lot. It was good to catch up with her. We went night skiing one night. So, so fun. And I didn't fall a single time! Also we went and ate dinner with her and her husband one night. Saw several other friends also and enjoyed seeing people at church. Man, I'm overusing the word "enjoy", but no other words are coming to mind right now.
So, here I am, back in Monroe. My flight back was very enjoyable (can't stop using it). The first flight I sat next to a girl who's in grad school in Omaha, same age as me, very similar family background, and altogether a delightful person. My dad told me when he dropped me off at the airport that he prayed I would have good conversations on the plane. I kind of thought with dread, "Oh great." When I pray or others do when I fly, pretty much always, I will talk the entire flight and often talk with people about God. Should be a good thing, right? I pray; God answers. Should be good, but I had a bad attitude and was tired and didn't want to have that kind of in-depth conversation. The first person who struck up conversation was a somewhat creepy middle aged man, and I thought to myself, "Well, this is the guy Dad prayed about. Here we go." In a few minutes though, he fell asleep and the girl next to me started talking. Have you ever talked with someone and walked away feeling refreshed and enthusiastic about life? This was that kind of situation. I am fired up about the semester after talking with her. It is still amazing to me how faithful and generous God is to me even when I have the opposite of an attitude of worship and love for him. I did not want to listen to someone's life story or talk to them about the Lord. In my selfishness, God was gracious to me and gave me encouragement. I didn't see myself in need of encouragement at the time, but wow, was I refreshed afterwards! God knew what I needed, when I needed it better than I did. I'm thankful for my dad praying. I'm thankful for Bekah who was very obviously intentional about sharing what's important. A couple of things God showed me through our conversation was how I need to love my classmates and coworkers. Sounds simple, but is not so simple to live out. One of the ways I can do that is to speak positive encouraging words to them and about them to others rather than being part of negative gossip. Last semester I saw and was part of in some ways, I think, some very destructive gossip. In a class with 15 females and 2 males of first year mft students who love to talk and analyze people, you can imagine that gossip is rampant. I've been wondering recently, what is it about me that will make me stand out to others as being a follower of Christ? More than that, am I the kind of person who is expressing God's love in the true and healing way his love is expressed to me? Being committed to God is a radical way of living life (see Nat's blog. it's good.). This means a little self-sacrifice, and probably a lot. For me, it means not taking sides or participating in the drama and divisiveness that goes on. I get sucked in all too easily. It's always easier to get wrapped up in the content rather than the person. The content is often a distraction from what's real and what's important in life -- loving people and dishing out as much hope as possible.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

I don't know if there'll be snow, but have a cup of cheer

2008-12-10T14:51:00.004-07:00

The semester is over!!!! I'm almost bored, but not quite. I've been going to the activities center on campus to jog with a friend the last couple of days. Yes, that's right. I did say jog. I did a 13 min. mile today, but that's what happens when you're in bad shape. My eventual goal is a 12 min. mile. From there, well, who knows how fit I may become!! Fitness is not a big deal at this school at all. There are 5 treadmills and a few other kind of machines, and that's supposed to service the entire campus. Louisisana recently became ranked as the most unhealthy state in the nation. It is second worst for obesity, so I guess the number of treadmills and the low numbers of people working out shouldn't surprise me.
I went and watched Twilight last night with a couple of friends. I ended up enjoying it more than I thought I would, especially for a vampire movie. Vampires are all the rage right now, apparently. It had a good message, I thought. Haven't read the books, but as usual, everyone is saying the movie isn't as good as the book. Have any of you read them or seen the movie? I'd like to hear a more expert opinion (Brittany) on the movie and books. :)
The temp has really dropped here in the last few hours. Supposedly, we may get some sleet tonight. Yesterday we were around 70, and having severe storms and even tornado warnings in the area. And now, it's very overcast, 40 degrees, with a windchill of 33. Brrrr. This kind of dreary day normally makes me dreary, but since I have no homework!!!, I'm curling up in my little blue chair with a book and a cup of hot tea or coffee. And I think I'll turn on some Christmas music. Yay for Christmas!!! I love this season!

A few goings-on

2008-12-01T19:40:00.006-07:00

Recently, I've been realizing what a lovely family I have. Maybe it's because of being in the season of thankfulness (my favorite holiday by the way) or maybe it's because Tricia and David were just here or maybe it's because I had to make a genogram last night. I don't know why, but I have been overwhelmingly thankful for everyone. I am NOT saying that anyone is this family is perfect. That would be a lie. :) Everyone is far, far from perfection. Rather, I'm saying that I feel really blessed to have a fairly good relationship with everyone -- I think. If I'm estranged from one of you, please let me know! That was something I was supposed to put in the genogram.

This is finals week for me. I should be studying right now, but I decided to procrastinate some more by doing this. This Thurs. night our first-year class is having a tacky Christmas party. It's going to be hilarious.

Phil, a friend we met in Korea, is coming to visit this weekend. He's at Heather's right now, and then he will be driving over. He's from England, so I'm trying to come up with some very American and Louisianan things to do and see. Wal-Mart and Sonic are about all I've got right now. One night some friends from church are getting together and going to this cajun restaurant in the country.

Tricia and David came this last week for Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed them being there. Our meal was quite excellent, if I do say so myself. Especially for a first time. We all cooked in some way. I especially enjoyed our dressing and pies -- thanks, Mom, for the recipes. A girl in my program came over to eat with us and brought a couple of dishes, so we had tons of food. We ate a lot. I ate a lot anyway. Pretty much no restraint. Thurs. aft we played games and then in the evening we watched Home Alone and ate some more. By Friday afternoon it had been raining a lot and we all had cabin fever, so we decided to go out. We ate lunch at a place called O'Charleys. Trish and I got catfish. Yes, that's right, I ordered fish. Officially, I like catfish. It was delicious!! Very popular down here and it didn't taste fishy. Maybe because they get it right out of the bayou? After lunch we decided to battle the crowds and go to the mall. It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The mall has super cheap movies, so we saw the new James Bond movie for $2.50!!! That's what I'm talking about!! I thought it was good. Then we went home, ate more food and hung out and talked and David worked on his photography class. I admire David's artistic talent a lot -- especially with writing and photography. He holds most of the creative talent in our family for sure. That evening we made caramel apples and drank wassail (sp?). David went home on Sat. morn. After he left Trish and I went to this big park in West Monroe to exercise. It was cold and misty still, but definitely needed the exercise. The trees here are just now at the peak for changing, so the park was especially beautiful. I haven't seen trees this brilliant in a long, long time, maybe never. Really gorgeous. We didn't do too much the rest of the day. Oh, we did try out a new coffee shop. Wouldn't have known it existed except that Trish looked some up. We ate dinner and watched Mary Tyler Moore on my computer. It's my new favorite show. Fancast.com. Then there was church on Sunday and Tricia headed out after lunch. Annnnd, one of the most exciting parts of the weekend was that Trish brought me a dresser, and put it together!!! I'm no longer living out of a suitcase. Also I had some curtains I had found really cheap at Ross, and have been trying and wanting to get them up, but to no avail. So, she put those up, single-handedly. I told her like 50 bazillion times how glad I was that she did it, but still there's no way to put my gratitude into words. Yes, this may seem like an extreme response. But, if you are the kind of person who does stuff like that well, you are a great person in my opinion. Whether you like to do it or not, that is a big service for the rest of us who don't have a clue. Tricia will now confirm that I don't have a clue after some of my dumb questions while putting the dresser together. I do NOT enjoy building things or anything that involves any kind of mechanics and when I say mechanics, I'm talking about anything from working on a car, to putting a vacuum cleaner together, to hammering a nail in straight, to using a screwdriver. My brain does not work that way. I was, still am very appreciative. It's been really nice having them up. My pictures didn't turn out that well, but here's the idea.

Tricia with her handiwork and she's wearing her new cute glasses.

This really does not show them in all their glory. I love them.

Bring on the snow. Or rain. Actually, I'll be happy if the weather stays just a little cold. "I'm Tom Dubwakva, wight heah in the weathuh centuh." Anybody remember that guy? I don't remember if he was in York or Abilene. Happy first week of December!!

I shall not be, I shall not be moved...

2008-11-21T15:58:00.007-07:00

2 weeks and my semester is over!!! It has gone fast. I can really say that although the schoolwork is not my favorite, it is good to be here. This is not so profound, but I started to like it a lot better here when I started looking for ways I could meet other peoples needs instead of feeling sorry for myself and lack of blah blah blah. Of course I'm so far far from doing that perfectly or even well, but it's amazing what a change of mindset can do. I like that God allows us to choose. I could turn this into an argument about free will and predetermination (called by some, predestination), but I don't know where I stand exactly on the matter, so right now in this post I'm taking the position of believing that God gives us free will. Hopefully I will make a little sense, but my mind is all over the place so I won't guarantee it. Also, the fact that this is so amazing to me does not mean it will be to you, so in advance, sorry. Now that I've got my disclaimers out of the way...

Often in life there are things that happen that are not in our control. Very often. Then there are things in life that we may think are out of our control, but really aren't. There are things that we think we have control over, but really don't. And then there are those things that we do actually have control over. I have control of my hands at this moment and am choosing to type the words: yep, I have control. Choice looks different for every single person. A person down the street from me may not have physcial control over her hands. Her daily choices are going to be a lot different than mine will be. This blog is not about things in life that are out of our control.

The main part of choice I like is the ability to make a choice about what I will think about or dwell on and what I value. Some people do not have the ability make these kind of choices, but that's an entirely different discussion. If you have the mental capability to do so, though, this idea is amazing -- to me it is anyway. God, in his perfect love, beyond what I can understand or attempt to describe (although I am attempting to briefly describe it right now), gives us choice or free will, to in many ways be part of shaping our own present and future as well as the future of others. [Side note: Have you watched The Truman Show? If you haven't I really recommend it. I think it's a good example of how control doesn't equal love. An engineered, supposedly perfect life, does not beget contentment. I saw part of it last night which has brought on some of these thoughts.] As humans, we need the ability to change - to have the potential for growth. I've had many times in my life when my heart and mind have consistently(key word) been set on despair, on my circumstances/situations, on my past, on my feelings, on my loneliness, on my __________, fill in the blank. By the way, I'm not saying it's bad to feel despairing, sad, or lonely, but rather I'm talking about being stuck there. God, in his generosity, gives us a way out from being stuck in that place of discontentment. He doesn't force me to stay in that place. On the flipside, he doesn't force me to be in a constant state of happiness. [Another side note: If I was in a constant state of happiness, would it really be happiness, since I never got to experience the opposite?] God gives free will. So this is a passage that's come to mind recently (not in my control), and I've chosen to share it (within my control). :)

"Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Col. 3:1-4 and then on down in verse 12-14: "Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

When I have chosen to think all about myself and value myself above all else, I get frustrated with myself, easily annoyed with other people, I talk bad about others (or even if it's not outright meanness, I put them in a bad light), I eat things that I like to make myself feel better, I watch shows that will make me feel better, I listen to music that will make me feel better or at least music that matches my mood, I go out and buy clothes or furniture to make myself feel better, I complain and tell my situation or story to everyone I know, I sleep a lot, and not surprisingly, I become increasingly discontent.

On the other hand, when I choose to think about God's grace to me, the fact that I've been "raised with Christ", that my "life is hidden with Christ in God", that I "will appear with him in glory", and when I value other people and choose to be patient, compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, and forgiving, contentment becomes a reality. Don't get me wrong. This is not about pretending your problems away and not dealing with pain and hurt and grief and sadness. This is about an general attitude that controls your life - what you think about and what you value.

To close, on a totally random note, my house is down to 60 degrees and it's 35 outside and dropping. I'm going to turn the heat on. Didn't make it as long as I hoped, but my hands are pretty much numb right now. Forget the $20 electric bill! Louisiana has gotten colder than I thought. Yay for cold weather!!!!!

National Pride

2008-11-05T22:40:00.007-07:00

Yesterday I waited in line for 1 hour to vote. The lady at the exit poll probably thought I was crazy, since I'm thinking that the American pride emanating from me was visible. I was smiling ridiculously, but what can I say? I love the US! Does anybody else get excited about voting like I do? You would have thought it was my first time to vote. But seriously, I love the whole process. I eat it up every election year and have ever since I was a kid. Hilarious not-so-PC moment of the night was when Sam Donaldson (sp?) said, "Well, it's not over till the fat lady sings. Uh, er, uh, or I mean um, any person of any svelte (sp?)."
Not so sure what the future will hold politically: change, levelling of the playing field, spreading of the wealth, less taxes, more taxes, more money for college, world peace, socialism, no more talk radio, and persecution are just a few of the things I've heard mentioned. To hear people talk around campus today, there's a lot of pride, fear, cynicism, disappointment, anger, happiness, hope -- the range of feelings everyone has had about this election is all over the place.

This story is not analogous, but I've been thinking a lot about the story of back in the day when Saul became king and here are the random thoughts that have come to mind. The people were dying for a king. God said okay. The people were happy. God chose the man. The nation became powerful. The man made A LOT of mistakes. God's working was far beyond what the people could see. I'm not trying to make a political point with this. Mainly I'm thinking that it's nice to have history to look back on and see that God is faithful and was always there, both in the good times and the bad times. In history we can see that God wasn't just passively there, but he was often active, whether the people of that time realized it or not.

I'm not adjusted to the time change yet and I haven't gotten much sleep this week because of my paper, which I turned in today!!! So, as they say here in the South, "I need to get in the bed."

Monday

2008-10-27T19:20:00.003-06:00

The trees aren't changing colors so much, except for the cypress trees which grow in the water. What I was told is that they are conifers, but the needles(?) change color according to season. They don't fall, but just change color. These trees make the bayous extra beautiful. Fall is by far my favorite season. I'm glad the weather actually feels right for the season now. It is pretty cool here today -- I don't think we got over 60 and it's been in the 40s at night and it was windy.
BUT, I am resolved to not turn on my heater until my house is below 65. Ideally 60 or 62. ha Layers, hot tea, and a very low electricity bill give me a lot of willpower.
Now I need that willpower to transfer over toe the paper I'm writing on dissociative identity disorder. Right now I'm wondering why I ever chose that topic. I do not like research!!!!!
On the flipside, one more day of class this week and we get off for the national conference. Instead of the conference, I'm going to Nacogdoches on Friday!!!

Here's a picture I stole from Trish on facebook, from our fun day at the fair a couple weeks ago.

Courage does not equal self-reliance or self-hope or ability or gifts or talents or brilliance...

2008-10-21T18:52:00.004-06:00

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Daniel 3:16-18

"Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, 'Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?'
They replied, 'Certainly, O king.'
He said, 'Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.'" Daniel 3:24, 25

Fall Break

2008-10-15T16:29:00.002-06:00

It's hard to believe, but last Wednesday was the beginning of fall break for me. And what a wonderful break it was. I left Wed. afternoon. Two friends from the math lab, where my GA is, went with me, so that made the trip way faster. We left about 2:45 and after dropping them off at their family's houses, I finally met up with Tricia, Holly, and Aaron at 8:15. We went to this great BBQ place. I know they were starving, so it was great of them to wait. Then afterwards we went to Denny's and got pie and coffee. So good. I love dessert and coffee after a meal. :)
The next day I went to school with Trish. That was a blast. Her kids love her. That we look alike was confirmed by all of her students. Some mistook me for her and some of them were doing double and triple takes between the two of us when they walked into class and saw me. I told them some about Korea and they aske questions. One kid asked me how to say blood in Korean. I was obliviously about to answer, but Trish was signalling to me that I should not, as he was making a gang reference. ha, I'm totally naive about all that stuff. Also, the word for blood in Korean is "pee", so it was good I didn't go there. Since they had the next day off, she did a game day with them, so we played games with them the whole time. She is doing an amazing job teaching them. Definitely a job that will wear you out. She is invested in those kids even after being there a short time, and they know it. That day was her birthday, so I would tell the kids and they would get excited (usually about half of them) and sing her happy birthday. Right after the day ended we went to a gas station and got some dp and peanut butter m and m's to celebrate and went back to her apt.
We walked around the pool, which is in the center of her little commune ha/apt. complex and visited with her friend Adrienne for awhile. I had met her at ACU a couple of times, but didn't really know her. She and her husband are awesome. There are a lot of cool people at this place. It's a great atmosphere -- safe and quiet, especially considering that Trish lives in the hood.
For dinner, Holly made soup, that was very tasty and we watched the Office. After that, Holly (aka Andy) and I (aka Michael Scott) womped up on T and A in Spades, again!!!! We also got to see and play with the new puppies. They are adorable! Little Jessica Jr. is especially cute. Yes, I named a dog after me. They let me, and what better name?
The next day Trish and I got up and went to get a bagel and coffee at Einstein Bagels. Delicious!! As usual, food plays a big role in life enjoyment -- that's why I'm mentioning it. The coffee was vanilla hazlenut. We then went to White Rock Lake aka Exercise Maniac Land to exercise. By the time we got there, I was hyped up enough on coffee and Tricia's inspiring talk about running, I decided to run/jog. I went maybe a 1/2 mile to a mile and walked the rest. The people who exercise there are serious about it, so for a brief time, I experienced the rush of being one of them plus the beauty of the lake. It was a nice time. Then came the aftermath of having sprained my foot or something. I'm not sure what I've done to it, but it's still sore and kind of swollen. Walking the next morning at the lake and then at the fair didn't help, I'm sure.
We met Alex for lunch at Freebirds, a burrito restaurant and had a really nice visit with her. We sat there for several hours talking and catching up.
Next we went on to Holly and Aaron's to meet up with Nat, Ethan, and Holly G. They got there an hour or two after we did. Holly G's little puppy is way cute also. We played card games for awhile and then had dinner. Amazing spaghetti. Seriously, it is some of the best I've had. David got there towards the end of dinner. The rest of the evening we hung out and played games and ate great pumpkin pie and drank coffee. I haven't laughed so hard in awhile as I did while we played this name game that I love (now called Dumb Freakin' Boo) and brought back Write a Book. It was hilarious. Matt and Brittany got there just in time to hear the books that had been written. It was great to see them.
Next day Trish and I went to the lake again to exercise while D slept in. We came back and woke him up so we could walk around the corner to "Taco Joint" and get some breakfast tacos. Wow, we ate out a lot. It worked out well though, as T has just moved into her apt. and is getting settled in still. Came back and got ready to go to the fair and everyone came over so we could walk over. It was about a mile walk from her apt. to the fair, so wasn't bad except for T and Matt, who went back to get T's ID so she could get into the fair. They really did a lot of walking that day. The shows were fun. Most everybody didn't care for the light show, but I really enjoyed it that evening. The huge flames were amazing. Anything that is timed well with music and lights is entertaining to me. Even if it's not timed well, I wouldn't know! I enjoyed it. The food was also a big highlight. After hunting for forever I found the Fried Guacamole which had been recommended by a couple of people. It was actually fried avocado chunks, so it was kind of a let down. The chicken-fried bacon was surprisingly good and so were the spicy olive bites. Those were excellent. Also, the turkey leg was so good. I didn't get all of these, but just tried them. The corn dog I started the afternoon out with was the best corn dog I've had. Again, mixed reviews, by others, but I really enjoyed it. At the end of the day we finally found the building that had the crafts and canned goods. I always like to see how talented people are and think that maybe someday...probably not, but it's fascinating to me what some people can do, especially with quilting.
By the end of the day my legs were about to fall off. I haven't walked that much in forever. We went back to T's and then over to H and A's where we hung out for awhile before D and M and B went back to Oklhoma. It was nice to sit. I think we depleted H and A's coffee during the weekend. We had that and some pumpkin bread she had made. Holly knows how to bake. I've never had anything she's made that wasn't good.
Trish and I spent the night there so we wouldn't have to drive up in the morning. We all went to church at The Branch. Chris Seidman (sp?) had a good lesson on forgiveness. He covered a lot of material and then had kind of a lengthy invitation, but the principles were good. In my opinion. :) On a different note, he reminds me of Jim Carrey. A dramatic, articulate, and entertaining speaker. After church we went to the BBQ place once again. Then it was time to go. I went to pick up the friends and made it back to Monroe by 8:45. I fell into bed exhausted. It was a really, really wonderful fall break. Just what I needed to make it to the next little break, which will be in a couple of weeks. Couldn't have more fun family to hang out with. I'm planning to go visit friend Heather in Nacogdoches, TX and I think (dare I hope?) Rachel is coming also?!!! Can't wait! If you've waded through all this wordiness, have a great rest of the week!

"I believe in the sun..."

2008-09-29T16:36:00.003-06:00

I really like this song. Supposedly the chorus was found on the wall of concentration camp. For some reason I'm being blocked from putting the video straight on here. Probably because I'm not doing it right. :) Oh well, just click on the link.

This song is a great reminder that faith/belief/trust is a decision or an attitude, not the way you feel. By the same token, belief is more than logic.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=0fe7e0f4f3b9f5f402f5

Happy Day

2008-09-19T19:46:00.004-06:00

Tofutti has done it again. They have one of the best dairy free ice creams I've tried. I went to Brookshires (pronounced Brook-sures here rather than Brook-shires) to pick up some groceries and decided I would look again for Tofutti sour cream and cream cheese. This store has a pretty good selection of gluten free foods and organic foods, but not so good on dairy free. I still couldn't find what I was looking for, so I think I'm going to put in a request at customer service. Do people do that? I'm going to try. Anyway, as I came to end of the ice cream isle, after looking longingly at the whole row, I found a huge selection of sorbet and dairy free ice cream!! I've tried the Cuties made by Tofutti before and they are good. They had a lot of those and also pints of "frozen dessert" in different flavors. They had a couple of other brands too, but I wanted to try Tofutti and it didn't let me down. I got vanilla fudge and indulged in a delicious milkshake tonight. Yummm.

This may be interesting to like 2 people besides myself, but oh well. My camera's still broken, so that's the reason for the off-centeredness. As another side note, my kitchen coutertops look like that, but a brighter/darker color of green than you can see in the picture. The picture makes it look like a gray marble something, but it's not. It's green.

The weekend is here. Celebrate with some ice cream!

Respite for the old tailbone

2008-09-13T18:31:00.003-06:00

Here's my new chair!!

This is the building I live in. My apartment is the door you can fully see on the left.

This is the building right next to mine that burned three days after I moved here.

Here are the Sawtooth mountains near Stanley, ID. Kind of random.

And here's one more picture of my little chair. :)

Friday

2008-09-12T16:47:00.003-06:00

TGIF!!! Fridays are extra nice now because I don't have class on Fri. It's like having two Saturdays. Because of that I should be getting tons of work done, but I've been finding little things to do to occupy my time instead of homework and reading: check e-mail, check facebook, read blogs, eat a little snack, check e-mail, listen to the radio (particularly Sean Hannity sp?), eat lunch or another snack, check e-mail, check facebook, go to the store, go check my mail, maybe text message a few people in between all of these things, and maybe do a little reading or homeowrk in between. Very lame. I think I'm going to begin limiting myself to one e-mail check a day. I got into this habit of over-checking all of these forms of communication when I was in Daegu, got out of the habit while I was at home, and now I'm back in the habit. This bad cycle happens for two reasons. One, it helps me feel connected to people even if I'm not, and two, it helps me delay the work I need to do. So, no more! Maybe I'll limit my check to twice a day + try to actually respond to people instead of just checking it. Okay, enough on that.

Here's what's been happening. We're supposed to get some wind and thunderstorms from Hurricane Ike, but it's not supposed to be as bad as Gustav. Yesterday, the tank on my toilet overflowed while I was gone for an hour, so I came back to a slightly flooded bathroom. It was an easy fix. Something had come out of place in the tank. Anyway, when I went to tell the office about it, they asked me what color of chair I would prefer for my apt. They had two to choose from, from corporate that are in good shape, that they're giving away if people need it, so I willingly took this cute little blue chair. God is so generous!! I really love this little chair. I also love the management at these apts. The maintenence man observed that I could use some furniture when he was in doing a work order and his wife and step-daughter, the office manager, all jumped on board. They are great.

Today is Fri. so I went to Happy Hour at Sonic and got a DP. Chrissy, everytime I go to Sonic now, I think about what my mom told me about Cooper thinking the trip is to get water. Do I have the story right?

The college/young professional class at church is studying A Purpose Driven Life. Looks like it's going to be a good study. I've tried reading it before, but couldn't get into it, so maybe reading a chapter a week will work out better. They do "house church" on Sun. night which is the same as a small group/care group/cell group/whatever you want to call it. Everybody's been very welcoming. My expectations for finding a church I liked were low coming here, although I was hoping to find one I could get involved in quickly. I had a definite negative stereotype of what churches are like in the South. This place is Christ-centered, sincere, warm, welcoming, open-minded, and very mission/outreach oriented. And I love the musical worship. Really great. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect, but I'm thankful to find a place so quickly. Now it's time for me to get disciplined and plug myself in. Recently, I've talked with several people about the importance for community. No doubt I've written about this before, but I'm going to again.

Not a single person was created in isolation. We weren't born into it. We can't survive in it. Relationally, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and even physically (have I missed any?), isolation is cancer. When people let themselves become isolated, it often (usually?) destroys the relationships they did have. Isolations cuts people off from understanding others, which in turn creates more isolation and often a lot of pain for all parties involved. Part of the problem a lot of people have with wanting to be part of a community -- church, town organization, spending time with family, spending time with co-workers, etc. is that they've been poorly treated in their socializing experience. That is unfortunate, but it does not mean that it's not valuable to have solid relationships with people who care about you and who you can mutually care for. I'm not talking about constant interaction, but everyone can use and can benefit from having people -- at least one person, but two or more is better, I think -- they can depend on. The key factor I saw last year with my clients that I think determined their poor mental health, was poor socialization they experienced. Problem #2 was that I, as one worker, could not meet the needs they had for relationship. These people did not have the skills to create meaningful relationships and the majority of people they knew had no desire to create meaningful relationships with them. Many people who are isolated are surrounded by people physically, and do not experience real community. Real relationships and real community comes out of mutual openess and trust. It doesn't happen overnight, and it's not something that just happens to you. It's something that has to be created or developed. It's something you have to be intentional about. I'll put an end to these thoughts, but get out there, out of your comfort zone, get to know people, and let yourself be known. This has very much been a pep talk for myself. There's no pressure I would put on any of you, that I'm not having to forcefully put on myself. I'm no expert at putting myself out there and it's difficult everytime I do it, but it's always, always worth it.

"Allllllligator! Allllllllligator! Can be your friend, can be your friend, can be your friend too..."

2008-09-05T11:10:00.006-06:00

http://www.thenewsstar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008809040314

I was mostly joking on my last blog, but the next day I read this in the newspaper. Where this guy was found is 2.36 miles (I had to look it up) :) from my house. When I came for the interview in the spring, people told me that alligators don't live in the area of the state so much. Yesterday, though, after I was talking with some people about this, they said that yes, there are alligators in the bayous around here. Fishermen see them frequently. I've traded in possibly seeing a bear or mountain lion for seeing an alligator. All those years in the mountains, I never did see a bear like I hoped to. Since I don't have the hope of seeing one now, I've exchange that hope for seeing an alligator in real life. Not at the zoo. And not outside my door. But I wouldn't mind seeing one swimming in the bayou, or walking through the neighborhood at a distance. I'm glad my new phone is a camera phone. I'm ready!!!! Bring it on!

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain...

2008-09-02T19:23:00.003-06:00

It is raining, raining, raining here. Yesterday afternoon the wind and rain started and it picked up throughout the night. I (not a big fan of storms) didn't sleep so well. The normal amount of bright light coming through my window wasn't there because the power was out and everything was really quiet except for the rain and wind. It's interesting all the noise electricity makes that you don't notice until it's out.

Because of the severe weather predicted and I guess the general chaos the hurricane has created, they cancelled classes today and tomorrow. I was excited at first. Now I'm getting kind of bored. It's a good chance to catch up on reading, on the plus side. This afternoon I went to the mall to walk some and to Sonic for a DP since I was experiencing a little cabin fever. :) I got home just before the deluge started around 4:30. It's been pouring hard for the last 4 hours. There was a flash flood warning until 10:30 this eve. but they've extended it until tom. morn. For the most part, I don't think there's been a lot of wind damage here. Some of the siding on an apt. building across from me is halfway off and making an annoying scratching sound as the wind is trying to tear it off, but other than that, I haven't seen too much debris around.
A lot of the southern parishes aren't letting residents come back until Fri. because they've got to clear the streets of debris, and in some parishes they have to get the water and sewage systems in working order again. Another interesting reason I heard they don't want residents to go back yet is because with the flooding there may be a lot of alligators, snakes, and other varmints wandering around -- in and out of yards and houses. Hopefully we won't have that issue here. :) I was imagining walking out of my apt. and seeing an alligator and then I imagined one somehow getting in my apt. and me having to throw a blanket over it and wrestle it back out the front door while at the same time trying to call the police or animal control or whatever. No, this is not a strange dream. This is my strange train of thought that I'm going to blame on sitting in my apt. for several days straight and listening to too much Gustav coverage. Did you guys hear the story several months ago of the lady, I think in Florida, who found an alligator in her house? Stories like that have also contributed to my overactive imagination. I know some of you can come up with way better alligator stories than mine, so if you think of one -- or more than one, please share. I'm in serious need of some entertainment.
I was going to write more, but I'm going to go ahead and post this because the lights have been flickering. Time to get my little pocket radio out. Talk radio is becoming my good friend. With the exception of Albert? Arthur? Greg? somebody Norry? I think he's the new late night Art Bell? I'm not a fan of him. I decided last night the wind was better than listening to him. Okay, I really am through. :)

Heat and humidity, but at least it's sunny

2008-08-30T16:42:00.003-06:00

Reading, reading, reading is my life right now. It seems like an insurmountable moutain, but as I tried to teach my clients this last year, "I am an overcomer!" It's funny how the things you tell other people can come back to haunt you. Haunt in a good way. My favorite quote right now is 2 Cor. 12:8: "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Let's just say that God has the open door to be very powerful in my life right now. For the most part I'm enjoying my classes and what I'm learning. Not so much my research class, but by the grace of God I will get through.

Monday evening I had a little excitement. I turned my oven on to cook chicken and rice and a second later it made a loud popping sound. I jerked around and sparks and smoke were flying out of the closed oven. I was on the phone with mom, so I hung up really fast, looked inside and when I saw that there was a fire at the back (I hadn't put the chicken and rice in yet) without hesitating I called 911. Maybe a little hasty, but when the firemen got here, they said it was better safe than sorry. I ran down and got one of my neighbors. When he came and looked at it, the fire was out. The maintenence man came and the firefighters came and said that it looked like the element broke. It was a very old oven that's never been replaced, I think. Needless to say, after the big fire a couple of weeks ago and that little one, I'm a little jumpy when I hear any loud noises, smell smoke, hear sirens, etc.

I really like the chuch I've been going to. It's big, but people have been very friendly and welcoming. In the program, I like my classmates for the most part. :) I need to like all of them anyway. We have several strong personalities that like to dominate, but I guess that's how it usually goes. "These are the times that try men's souls..." Just kidding. There are some super, super nice people in class also.

In state news, Hurricane Gustav is on it's way. I've filled up my car with gas, bought jugs of water, and gotten a little cash, have some candles, and have my little radio ready. They're saying we could get some severe weather from it, so I'm getting prepared. :) Thanks Mom, for the good tips. I think that mandatory evacuation of New Orleans began today. The state seems to be very prepared this time around and they aren't taking any risks. Monroe hotels are full and a lot of people will be evacuated here, it sounds like. Well, Frank old boy, that about wraps it up. For the nightly news, I'm Charles Bluewater. Good night. :)

On the bayou

2008-08-18T19:09:00.003-06:00

One nice thing about living here are the buzzing locust(s?) outside. I love that sound. They are buzzing loudly right now. A lot of people hate it, but it reminds me of when I was little when we lived in Columbia. The dog days of summer.
I don't have much new to write on. Classes started officially today. I will have one, three hour class Mon through Thurs. For the class today, Therapeutic Alliance (fancy name for how to build good rapport with people and interviewing), the professor was out of town, so a GA filled in. We got out after an hour. Easy, easy so far. There are a couple of assignments in that class, but nothing huge yet. The class I'm worried about is Research which will be on Thurs.
After class I went to the Math Resource Center where I will be a GA for freshman math classes. I didn't actually start yet and don't know exactly what I'll be doing, but I think I'll be taking roll and checking on freshman who miss class. It's part of the student success center which is what it's name says it is and the part I'm working in is making sure freshmen don't fall through the cracks.
Did I mention in the last post that I have great neighbors? They are so kind and quick to offer to help. They helped me move in a desk I got the other day, have been very reassuring about this apartment complex, gave me a phonebook, and one has invited me to church if I'm looking for a church home. Which, I've visited a place I like pretty well. Trish went with me last week and then I went again this week and really like it so far. Lindsey and her husband, the one I stayed with for the interview, go there. It is big, so it will take some initiative on my part to get involved, but I like it a lot.
I got my bed on Saturday. It is really nice to not be on the floor. Now for a couch or futon. Now for money. Oh wait, there is no money! It's back to the Asian way of doing things. I did find a cheap vacuum cleaner that took me 2 hours to assemble. If I don't have a couch to sit on, I like to have a clean floor. When I opened the box, there was a big stop sign on a piece of paper saying that if I had problems assembling it, then to not take it to the store but send it back to the manufacturers. That was a bad sign. The holes for some of the screws were too small. Maybe with a power drill it would work, but it took all of my strength (no jokes please) to get those stupid screws in. Anyway, the vacuum cleaner is together now and works!! There is no doubt in my mind now that I do not like to assemble things. I am way, way, way un-mechanically minded.
Good night from the Bayou! By the by, the closest one to me is Bayou Desiard. Still don't know how to pronounce it.

2008-08-13T21:37:00.002-06:00

Wow, it's been awhile. I just got internet set up in my apartment this afternoon. Yay!!!! There's nothing like having to wait for something to make you really appreciate it. Things I am really going to appreciate once I have them: a couch, chairs, a dresser (or as most people here say "chester drawers"). a tv, and the list could go on. It's good to live as a pauper though, for that very reason that you appreciate things more. And you learn what is essential and what's not.
So, let me back up. A little over 2 weeks ago, Tricia came with me to Monroe to apartment hunt. We ended up finding one that was even more reasonable than the one that didn't work out. It's $430 a month + electricity. There are cheaper around, but none were available at the time, and this is a 6 month lease. I was kind of leary about taking it because I was not able to see it first, but after taking the advice of Trish and some of the people in the program, I put the deposit down same day. Then last Wednesday I moved over. Once again, my lovely sister assisted me. And now if you don't care for detail, skip on down probably through the whole blog because this is for those who like myself like all the little details. The apartment is very spacious. My living room is the size of my entire apartment in Korea. Then there's a small dining room, galley kitchen directly across from the dining room, walk-in hall closet, decently sized bathroom, and a huge bedroom that's the size of the living room with two huge closets. Really this apartment would be ideal for two people, but I'll enjoy all this space. It is older. The wallpaper in the kitchen is some kind of floral/fruit pattern (not pretty) and in the bathroom it's a strange green and brown stripe wallpaper. This place has a very odd smell also. Faint cigarette smoke combined with the smell of ramen noodles or something like that. Whatever it is, it's not good, so I've been burning lots of candles. There are (or were--now there are two, but I'll get to that in a minute) three washaterias aka laundry rooms in the apartment complex. The complex total has 12 or 13 buildings, I think, with 8 or more apts in each building.
My two biggest concerns moving in were safety and varmints. So far, the area seems to be quite safe. The people seem nice. As far as pests go, well tonight I had to kill one. I had a gecko right inside the door. I was very sad to see that there are those here. Very sad. I got my fill of them in Abilene. Transparent bodies with beady little eyes. The thing wouldn't die. I think one of my neighbors was about to come see what was going on because I was making a lot of noise beating it with the broom. I've been assured that it's a matter of time until I have a roaches or a water bugs, but so far, so good on that note. I'll be glad when my bed gets here. That may not keep the things away from me, but somehow it just seems better.
And now for the story of the week. Saturday morning I got up to hit garage sales and hunt for furniture and spent the morning out around Monroe and West Monroe. Around 12:30 as I was arriving back to my apartment when I saw huge smoke coming from the area where I live. Just as I was getting there, the first fire truck was arriving. As I drove up I was sure that it was my building that was on fire and that somehow I was responsible. Why I thought that, I don't know, but I was sure that I had left some appliance on like the coffee maker or straightener and that I was responsible for the building burning down. As I got closer I saw that it wasn't my building, but that it was the building immediately next to the one that I live in. The fire was pretty big. A lot of fire trucks came. One of them used the really huge ladder (imagine the toy fire truck you played with as a kid) to get above the the fire and spray water down on the fire. I've never seen anything like it. The smoke was terrible. No one was hurt. I did hear that a few animals didn't make it. Apparently there were a lot of animals in that building. As they were getting the fire put out I was talking with a guy who was friends with a couple in that building. He said that they got all of their pets out except for their corn snake and a couple of fish. He said he wasn't too sad about the snake because the snake bit him once. For some reason, I had a bad feeling that the snake would escape its cage and end up on my front porch one day, but he described the tank and said there was no way it could escape. Once the fire was put out and they started seeing what they could recover from inside, I looked up, and here came the guy who lived there carrying his precious snake. Amazing! I don't know how that thing survived, but I had a feeling it would. The fish also survived! I feel really bad for these people. Only two of them out of the 8 residences that were destroyed had renter's insurance. Guess I need to check into that myself. They said the fire started from the pool pump right outside the building. It was incredible how fast it spread. On the bright side, crises like that tend to bond people together, so I met some of my neighbors that I would not have met otherwise. My next door neighbors are super nice and have told me that I'm now "part of the family". They look out for each other, so I'm now included. The mother of one of the guys who lived on the end of my building that burned a little decided to take advantage of the moment and have me meet her son. He was still looking stressed from the events, but she in front of several people made it known that he needed to meet this new prospect. Very awkward and hilarious. That plus the stress of the last little while made it hard not to laugh. They were still putting the fire out and she was trying to make sure her son didn't miss this golden opportunity. Everyone reacts differently under stress, that's for sure. This lady was also sure that when my parents heard about this fire that they would want to make me move right back to Idaho. Well, not exactly. That's not how our family works. :) So now, everytime I step outside my door, I smell what at first reminds me of a campfire, but then the smell of melted vinyl siding and wet rotting wood (we've had a lot of rain the last couple of days) hits me. Yeah, so now I've got a nice smell outside my apartment as well as inside. I found some pictures online if you want to see pictures of the fire/what my apt. looks like -- kind of -- minus all the smoke and fire. http://www.thenewsstar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Site=DI&Date=20080809&Category=NEWS01&ArtNo=808090806&Ref=PH&Params=Itemnr=1
And this has been my experience so far in Monroe. The people here are the friendliest, most warm people I have ever met in my life. I don't know how to respond to it very well.
As usual, I've written more than planned. Too verbose for my own good. And of course it doesn't help that I have no social interaction. School starts next week, so hopefully that will change soon. So long for now.

2008-07-21T13:13:00.002-06:00

Last week the hiking trip to Yellowstone didn't work out, so we ended up going to Stanley for the day!! As I wrote in my last blog, I had really wanted to see Stanley and it was way better than expected. It is 2 1/2 hours there on a really curvy road, but we made it with no one getting car sick or killed. The population of Stanley is 100, but Redfish lake is right next to the town and set right below the Sawtooth mountains, so the area gets a lot of tourists in the summer. We went on a hike to Marshall Lake. After seeing it, like A of A, I think it deserves a better name than that. It was this small perfectly clear little pristine lake with a waterfall flowing into it off of one of the jagged Sawtooth mountains. We had to hike about 5 miles back to it. Gorgeous hike. Part of it was in the forest and then a good section of it was in some high meadows that had a lot of wildflowers. I'll try to post pictures on the next one. We started out at 6000 something elevation and had an increase of 1500 feet (took us to 8000 something feet) and then down to the lake 300 feet. My feet were tired by the end. It's a rare day when I hike 10 miles, but it was totally worth it.
Then on Saturday I went rafting with the group that was going camping. My friend Gina came, so that made the day even more enjoyable especially because it turned out to be a wild day. The directions sent out were totally wrong because they had come from google, so we were 2 hours late. Then the campsite was not visible from the dirt road because you had to hike down a steep enbankment 15-20 yards to get to the camp site by the river. We were about to give up on finding it (at this point I was pretty mad because we'd driven almost 2 hours to get up to the area), but decided to drive back down the main road one last time and when we did a couple of the guys had come out to stand by the road to look for us. I was glad that our drive wasn't a waste. Only 6 of us ended up going rafting. Last time, I thought it wasn't that rough, but this time was way harder. I was in the front the whole time and the rapids were more continuous. 3 times we almost fell out or flipped. I don't know how we didn't, except that there were a lot of prayers. It was really good that we didn't fall in because none of us had helmets! All of the helmets were sold out. After we stopped, the guys told us that they had seen a sign earlier that rafting on that section of the river could be dangerous, with rock walls on both sides and wasn't for the "faint-hearted". Great. When we stopped for lunch we found out that part of the raft was partially deflated. Apparently the plug had been hit with an oar and loosened. We were nowhere near the road, and it wasn't too bad, so we kept going. We missed the first area we were supposed to get off, but got off at a beach area were there were some hot springs. The Chinese couple who was with us went over immediately and laid down in them. I think they were kind of chilled from the icy river water. After hanging out there for awhile it was time to take the raft to the car, so we tried to carry it, mostly inflated back the the car on a trail that was like 2 ft wide. We deflated the raft and carried it and the equipment up to the car. And I do mean up. It was quite a hike back to where the car was. I'm glad I didn't have to carry the raft. When we got back to the campground some more people had come. Gina and I headed back home via Idaho City (old capitol and almost ghost town) where we stopped for some ice cream. I heard yesterday that after we left that there was a rattlesnake in the campground. One of the guys decapitated it with a shovel and then they ate it for dinner. While kind of cool, that affirmed the decision not the stay the night.
That covers the recent excitement here. Pray that I'll find an apartment!

2008-07-13T17:32:00.004-06:00

For all of you family and friends in the south, I'm coming down! Less than two weeks -- a little earlier than expected. I'll be leaving on the 25th and getting to Dallas hopefully on the 27th, and then on to Monroe on the 28th to find an apt. The apartment I thought I had lined up ended up falling through, so I'm on the hunt. Still feels like a lot of details are up the air presently about school, finances, and moving, but God's teaching me patience and I'm having to trust, which is good. ha Much easier to write than it is to put into practice.

This week, I'm going hiking with friends Kathy and Tom in Yellowstone. I'm really excited about that. We'll leave Tues. eve. and come back on Thurs. afternoon. Then the college/singles group at church is having a campout this weekend. If my plans weren't in hyperdrive, I would stay the whole time, but I'll go hang out with them for the day and go rafting. My friend Gina is planning to go up with me which will be a blast. I have been so blessed with good friends. I remember in high school really wanting and praying for friends and God has answered that prayer amazingly. I've especially been realizing this since last week on the way back from Red Mountain, we went through Grand Junction and stayed with my friend Andrea's family. They are so great. Her dad Ron has just written a book called Breaking the Cycle of Sin. I'm excited to read that. I then rode back home here with her here so she could visit for a couple of days. She always challenges me so much in my relationship with God, and she is hilarious. I laugh a ton when I'm with her. Thursday evening we met Gina and went to an old downtown-bohemian-green-everyone is riding bicycles for their transportation part of town. We got ice cream. Actually I got sorbet -- frozen lemonade was the flavor and it was delicious.

On our drive back as we got close to Twin Falls I saw the sign for Shoshone Falls (supposed to be "the nigagra of the west") and started talking about how I wished I could go there and McCall and Stanley this summer, but there was just no time or money left to be able to travel. I figured we would be stopping a few miles down the road in Twin Falls and started daydreaming and envisioning myself going to Stanley, ID (kind of lame, I know), when suddenly Andrea was pointing and telling me in a surprisingly calm voice that I was missing the exit that my parents were getting off on. I yanked the wheel hard and we barely made it onto the exit without going into the grass in between the exit and interstate. My parents had decided that we should go to Shoshone Falls! The waterfalls were really beautiful. It was a really hot day though, so we didn't spend a lot of time there. After that we ate dinner in Twin Falls at Golden Corral. Got home late that evening, unpacked, and collapsed into bed.

Red Mountain was great! It was so good to catch up with family and see everybody. Highlights for me were the salad lunch, cajun night, the variety show (especially G and G's skit), crown kebob cookoff, hiking (the one), ragball, and well, I guess I had a lot of highlights. :)

Frances, Frank? Come in Frank! For the BBC, I'm Charles Bluewater. Good Night.

P.S. Andrea told me about a class she's taken where she's been learning how to tell if someone is a wholistic thinker or sequential thinker. So we had a lot of fun with the tests to figure out what category we fell best under. Now that I'm looking at the blog I've just written, maybe I'm a backwardly sequential thinker? Is there such a thing? What are you?

"Changing, gotta keep changing..." -- Old AVB song that maybe 2 people will recognize

2008-06-27T22:50:00.006-06:00

Recently I keep thinking of what Heather would say to me in Korea: "You can sleep when you're dead." I've actually been getting pretty decent sleep, but the daytime hours have been exhausting. I'm ready to be done with my job. Coming back from a week in West Virginia (which was great!) to four days of work is weird. My clients started meeting with their new PSR workers while I was gone, then the plan was for me to come back and make the transition final. Maybe it will end up being best for the clients, but I think it's made the transition too drawn out for them. So I'm trying to wrap everything up at work right now which means final visits with clients and calls to people involved with their care. Very, very hectic, but at the same time we've had some really good sessions. I love my clients. I thought I was fine with leaving, but it is tough. Most of the people I work with are amazingly good at verbalizing how they're feeling and letting me see their sadness which is there right now because I'm leaving. Seriously, some of the saddest faces ever, and I'm just as sad as they are to see our time of working together come to an end. They have been delightful. They have taught me so much about sincerity and honesty and overcoming challenges in life.
It's funny how I've been working a lot with my clients on dealing with change, as they will be having to adjust to a new worker, but I haven't been dealing with change the best in my life. Normally, I'm ready for the next thing -- whatever it is. Usually, I'm way excited about what's coming up, but right now I don't care for change too much. I feel like things need to slow down. The song from Jack Johnson, who I really really like a lot, :) keeps coming to mind "Slow down everyone, you're moving too fast..." Yes, I know that change is good for me. I tell my clients all the time that change keeps us from becoming stagnant. I know that God is using all of the change in my life to refine my character and make me into who he wants me to be, but the emotions need to catch up. The hardest part about change for me is when people leave or when you have to leave them (this also includes when people you love change so much that you don't know them anymore). It's hard to really love people and then they're gone. The mutual investment that has been made is gone. Or at least it feels like it is. Memories and influence can live on, which is good. Sometimes it seems easier to me to become more detached and distant so that you don't have to deal with the the discomfort or pain of transition, and that works. But then Alfred Lord Tennyson's quote keeps coming to mind: "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." That's true. It's worth it.
So my last day at work is June 30th. Then I'm moving to Louisiana at the beginning of August. I think it's going to be great. Do I feel it? No, but I believe God is going ahead of me and with me, so I can say with full assurance that the future will be good.
My friend, Jun, in Daegu, as I was leaving last year said that in Korean they have a quote that says something to the effect of "We're under the same sky". The way she said it is more beautiful that I can say it, but I love it, hence the name of my blog. Knowing that we're still under the same sky, somehow still connected in spirit, makes change and leaving just a little easier.

What's happening

2008-06-15T16:15:00.003-06:00

G and G left on Thursday. They were here for awhile, which was a blast. I really enjoyed visiting with them. Before they came I was remembering how us kids would get so excited to see them that we would wait on the side of the road for them to show up. I still get excited to see them now. We played a lot of games and did a lot of laughing. Just so you know, Grandpa does not like Scattergories. It is too "wild".
This coming Wednesday we're going to West Virginia to see gradparents family there. It's been over two years since I've seen them, so I'm looking very forward to seeing them. I'm so thankful to be able to travel and to stay in touch with family.
Other than travel plans coming up, I've been working a lot. My last day will be July 1st, which is coming up quick. Almost too quick. I'll be sad to leave all my clients. They have been incredible. But, it's time to move onto what's next -- for them and for me. I've been thinking a lot about change being an opportunity for crisis, or an opportunity for growth and refinement (ist that a word?). The growth and refinement perspective is what I'm trying to take or else I can get kind of stressed about whatever's coming up next.
Mid-August is when school starts at ULM. No new news in that area, just that I'll be moving down at the beginning of August.
As for Boise, right now, yesterday I got to go rafting. This last spring and now summer more and more college aged/out of college people have started coming to church so we've been doing a lot of things together. Yesterday one of the guys planned a rafting trip which was awesome. This guy had a been several times, so he was our "guide". I'm not the biggest fan of the water, but it was so fun. There were a some rapids areas that were pretty intense, but the rapids weren't constant, so they said it was probably a 2 class rafting trip. Not sure what that means, but no one fell overboard and we didn't flip. The scenery along the Payette river was gorgeous and the weather was just about perfect. The water was numbing and pretty deep because of all the snow this year, but that has made for good conditions apparently. There were 7 of us in the raft. I got kind of wet along the way, but not soaked so I was feeling pretty good about myself. As we got out of the raft, though, I got tackled into the ice water/sand, so I ended up not making it out as dry as I had planned. ha Anyway, if you ever get a chance to go rafting, definitely go.
I haven't been blogging as much as planned, but with my work winding down, maybe I'll do more? Hope to. :)

Elder/pastor/shepherd/Jesus

2008-06-12T20:49:00.007-06:00

We've been studying about elders/shepherds/pastors at church recently and have had some great lessons. These passages and songs have been really great for me to read and hear. So, this is kind of long, but I love how they fit together. The pictures is from 34th Nottingham Scouts Gallery.

Luke 15:1-7

1Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. 2But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."
3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

John 9:30-38

30The man answered, "Now that is remarkable! You don't know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. 31We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will. 32Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. 33If this man were not from God, he could do nothing."
34To this they replied, "You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!" And they threw him out.
35 Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"
36"Who is he, sir?" the man asked. "Tell me so that I may believe in him."
37Jesus said, "You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you."
38Then the man said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshiped him.

John 10:1-18

1"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. 3The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." 6Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.
7Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.[a] He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
11"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
14"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."

To Bring You Back by Paul Alan

Are you thirsty, standing in the rain?

Not sure where you are or how you lost your way

Are you drowning

Some bar outside of town?

Searching for something given not found

A crowd of people totally alone

At the front door

Worlds away from home

And light up the night's last regret

Burn your only safety net

Step to the edge it's such a long way down

And I left the ninety-nine to find the one and you're the one

I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun

Only to bring you back

Are you tired of chasing the wind?

Under water, do you aspire to breathe again?

Are you dying?

Is that the best that you can do?

Cause you can't find your place in a world that wasn't meant for you.

A left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one

I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun

Only to bring you back

Hello, it's me i couldn't sleep

I was just counting sheep.

I'm missing you.

Hello, it's me i couldn't sleep

I was just counting sheep.

I left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one

I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun

Only to bring you back.

I left the ninety-nine to find the one

And you're the one I walked a thousand miles in this desert sun

Only to bring you back

Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah yeah yeah yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone

Happy Birthday, Kate.

2008-05-25T18:15:00.005-06:00

Most of you would know her as the girl that inspired me to teach English overseas. At least now you know her as that, anyway. We went to school together in Abilene, worked together in Abilene, and then went to teach English at Little Genius together. Little did we know that we were friends from way back. Oh, and there was the super fun ski trip to Red River. There have been many other great times too, but that's been one of the best.
This post doesn't make sense so you'll have to go to her blog: http://generalchemistrylaboratory.blogspot.com/ . I love this!!!

"!!!!"

2008-05-05T21:15:00.004-06:00

Spring is finally here!! All the trees and flowers are blooming. Allergy season has arrived. So far I haven't had any problems, except for hating the smell of the pretty little purple weed. Is that an allergy? So I've opened the windows tonight, but my dad just closed them as the neighbors smoke and it smells like a "cigarette factory" outside. Bring on the fresh air, cigarette smoke and all, I say!!! After this job, I've become desensitized to the smell of cigarette smoke.

I'm in the process of making plans for going to Monroe. I have a lead on an apartment, but haven't started looking hard yet. Still waiting to hear back about financial aid, but I'm officially registered for classes. More than school right now I'm looking forward to all the summer traveling I get to do. First Cindy and Brad's wedding -- really looking forward to that! Then at the end of June is a family reunion/camping trip in West Virginia. I haven't seen some family on my dad's side in several years. so I'm very excited about that. Time for me to get to know some cousins better! Red Mountain is after that, which will be a blast! Then the move south. All within the next 4 months.

I've been using a lot of "quotation marks" and exclamation points!!! More than I usually "do"!! So, the question is, what are your writing pet peeves? I can't stand overuse of exclamation points!!!!

2008-04-20T21:11:00.002-06:00

Spring was supposed to be here by now, but alas, it is cold again. That's okay, I need to soak in as much coolness as possible before moving south. I don't know if those sentences sound negative, but there is definitely negative thought behind them today. The reason I mention this is because I'm trying to recognize and put a halt to my complaining.
Today I was talking with a friend at church about my week at work and I stated that it was a good week, but really draining because of the negativity I was surrounded with. Then I realized that I had chosen to focus on what was negative about last week rather than what was positive and that the very thing I was complaining about, I was doing!
Is is necessary to recognize and be honest about a negative situation? Of course. Through truth, healing can begin to happen. What's not good though, is after the honesty, to continue to dwell on both mentally and verbally what's negative.
I've been really blessed and challenged by a blog written by a team of friends working in the Czech Republic http://teamolomouc.com/wordpress/. They have been blogging for awhile now on praiseworthy speech. Words have so much power. They have the power to heal and destroy. To quote Sid the Sloth from Ice Age: "I choosth life."

2008-04-05T23:41:00.003-06:00

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. in this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
-1 John 4:15-18-

Brown Indecision

2008-04-05T21:33:00.004-06:00

So, I've been thinking a lot about colors since starting this new blog. Trying to find a template I like takes forever for someone who's super indecisive like I am. Choosing the colors I like is even more difficult. Well, I know the colors I like, but choosing colors that are supposed to look good together is the difficult part.
Sometimes I can be one of those people that doesn't care what others think; in fact, that's what I try to go for most of the time. Often though, I care far too much. For instance: is brown ugly? Personally, I love brown, but a good friend can't stand it and even hid some brown pants I had in college. Because she thought they were so hideous, she didn't want me wearing them. :) Situations like that have served to make me both a little self-conscious and also a little rebellious. If I like brown, I'm going to wear it and put it on my blog! I'll even mix black and brown. I know, that is not allowed if you are big into matching, but sometimes I like it and sometimes I think it can be pulled off. Notice how I'm using the word "sometimes" a lot. True trait of an indecisive person. I'm also very indecisive about words I write in letters or notes I'm sending to people. I waste so much time trying to figure out how to word my sentences.
When it comes to indecision, I'm not only indecisive in situations where I care what others will think. I can spend an hour in the tea section at Wal-Mart, trying to decide which one I want. Wild berry zinger or blueberry? Green tea with caffeine or decaf? Will it be perfumey/flowery tasting? Is that too expensive for 20 bags? Maybe I should get several? I've always been indecisive, but these kind of shopping decisions have become ridiculous and worse since I got back from Korea. If you have any theories on why that is, I would love to hear them.
I'm not indecisive about everything. When it comes to big purchases I tend to decide more quickly. I chose and bought a computer in a matter of a few minutes. When I bought my car -- actually both cars I've bought, were bought quickly without much deliberation.
So here's the question: What does indecision indicate about a person's character or personality, if anything? Am I indecisive because I want to please, insecurity, lack of willingness to commit, because I just like a lot of things, I don't know what I want, I can be satisfied with almost anything?
Either I or someone else I know has written a blog about indecision in the last year, so hopefully I'm not repeating someone. Okay, I'm through. Time to pick a new template and maybe switch some colors up a little. :)

2008-04-03T23:01:00.001-06:00

I'm officially on blogger now. Post #2.

First Blog

2008-04-03T22:07:00.000-06:00

Goodbye yahoo, hello google.